PDA

View Full Version : continuing care



poz
17th March 2013, 13:34
what happens when you cant get continuing care?
my mam cant get on the commode and wont use incontinance aids, and keeps
falling trying to get to the commode. This past fortnight has been awful, with her
taking risks which resulted in injury to her leg. she wont leave the house and wouldnt
let me get a doctor so she sat for a week in pain, until her leg became red and shiny
and swollen so i contacted the district nurse. The social worker and OT have both stressed to her
that she isnt to transfer herself, and carers were arranged for four times a day to help toilet her
(im mainly bedridden thru the day from after the morning school run until 3.30, then i go to mams with my
kids from 4 until anywhere between 7pm and 10pm)
She choose the times with the carer to suit her needs but the problem is she wont go when they call in,
she attempts to transfer herself just before or just after the carers have been.
She cant get herself into bed, but my son is on a nippy ventilator at night (for cf and copd) and i cant leave him
so we have been waiting for months for a short visit from nightcare to get her settled, now
at long last we are told they have an appointment - but its for 12.45am (she wont go to bed
when the other carer goes in at 9.50pm even tho we fought to get this slot for her to go to bed)
Last week, crisis point came - and after a review we are told she doesnt qualify for continuing care.

I dont know whether im crying for support, or saying im not well enough to cope anymore, or whether
im asking `is mam just fiercely guarding her independence`

roy
17th March 2013, 17:39
Hi Poz,

I think both apply to you, you can't split yourself in two and mum like many cant let go of independence,
for the most basic needs toilet,eating and going to bed,I can only talk from bitter experience after falling
And breaking my back.I have since changed my way of thinking and coping.I am aware that it would take
Two trained people to lift me,I'm sure like your mum would not like you to be injured or her grandson neglected,
It's a hard choice for your mum but unfortunately will have to accept some help.No easy answer Poz I hope you find
a solution, you take care.

Best wishes,

Roy.

pete
17th March 2013, 18:18
Hello Poz,
I have to agree with Roy on this one, And you don't need telling life's not fair, as you have more than enough problems to deal with at home, reading your post, I reckon you have to admit you cant do everything you may want to do, also your Mum needs to know that while you will do all you can there is a limit to what you can be expected to do and as difficult as it is for mum to realise we all have to make changes to things we may not like or want, as for the times not being what she wants ,that's something else to get her to face up to,
We had to endure this with the Wife's father, who to be honest became a very very unpleasant person largely due to him not getting his way all the time, luckily, I was both fitter and able to talk then and we had a really deep meaningful chat one night , where he was left under no illusion that i found him to be both rude, ignorant, Now your Moms not that evil, but really think she needs to admit to herself that changes have to be made for both your sake's, good luck and take care of yourself.

Regards
pete

miranda
17th March 2013, 19:32
Hi Poz - it sounds as if MND Connect might be good starting point for you to get some advice and guidance. Your Mum is not guarding her independence - everyone reaches a point when independence is neither possible or fair on anyone - herself included. I have had to learn to accept that I can no longer do a lot of what I want to do and I am nowhere in the state your Mum is in. Don't be hard on yourself.

Andrew
18th March 2013, 09:26
Hi Poz - it sounds as if MND Connect might be good starting point for you to get some advice and guidance. Your Mum is not guarding her independence - everyone reaches a point when independence is neither possible or fair on anyone - herself included. I have had to learn to accept that I can no longer do a lot of what I want to do and I am nowhere in the state your Mum is in. Don't be hard on yourself.

Hi Poz,

Just to echo Miranda's sound advice, you can contact the MND Connect team on 08457 626262 or email mndconnect@mndassociation.org. They are available 9am to 5pm and 7pm to 10.30pm Mondays to Fridays with calls charged at local rate.

Best wishes,

Andrew

poz
19th March 2013, 08:44
thanks for your advice and support xx

Roy my mam is only around 6st in weight yet the care company say it takes
two to lift her with a hoist

poz
19th March 2013, 09:15
thanks for your replies.the supposrt is much appreciated :)

we are in touch with the north west mnd volunteer who is trying to put a rocket up social services
to get a bed time call and care visits from 15 mins to 30 mins per visit.

bakeit Forum