View Full Version : Sorry about goodbye post

16th April 2015, 18:48
I did start writing this this morning but ran out of data on my phone.
On Monday Lisa and I had massive row which started over nothing. What I didn't realise was that lisa was having nervous breakdown. I was so deviated by the argument I got in touch with hospice to go in and have machine switched off. Had to get doctor out and family. After discussion between us Tuesday we both agreed that I would go into hospice Wednesday until Friday so she could have a break. She did want me to stay in over weekend but I said no, not being cruel but hate being out of my home.
She had very bad headache, high blood pressure and couldn't stop crying. So on Wednesday she was also admitted to the general hospital for tests.
We did have help from Marie Curie but we got it too late I think. Lisa had worked so hard looking after me it affected her health.
She has gone home today and me tomorrow. Marie Curie are putting a full care plan together for us. We are both ok now and love each other dearly.
Two things I have learned.
Don't underestimate the hard work carers do for you with MND
Carers be aware of the pressures you are under and how hard you work and never be afraid to ask for help.
Lisa will be going somewhere for a few days break and she deserves it.
Sorry for long post but hard to condense.
Thanks for all your concern about a silly old man

Ps. I think I will stick around aa bit longer. Hope I didn't upset anyone

16th April 2015, 19:22
So glad you are going to get extra help and stick around a bit longer.

The pressure is immense for both carer and sufferer and I only wish the extra help was more available . I only got help with Jean because I was advised by MNDA visitor to start refusing being there so much (which felt awful) and because she lived alone. When your caring for a spouse/partner it seems much harder to get support.

I hope things get back to "normal"

Best wishes.

Alison x

16th April 2015, 19:22
it is so good to hear from you, David. So many of us care about you. Lots of love, as always Joycie xx

16th April 2015, 19:33
Thanks David for explaining;

I do hope you get along together better and learn from the warning signs.

Love Terry

Pam S
16th April 2015, 19:42
I feel for you both, it's so hard Pam S xx

16th April 2015, 20:05
David put it down to a lesson learned, and enjoy the love you both have for each other. God Bless

16th April 2015, 20:07
Evening David,

It's so easy to be misunderstood with all the day to day pressures shared by the sufferer and the close family involved with all mnd involves ,I am surprised that we all cope so well, trying not to offend one another and having little or no speech all goes to put the family in a meltdown , I am so glad your finding the inner strength you need and I hope you and Lisa now find peace after the break, You have no need to apologise for anything we all know how incredibly hard it is to retain any sanity at times. And I doubt if anyone thinks your silly. I hope you have a better nights rest,sleep well.

16th April 2015, 20:13
So pleased you are getting the help needed! I too collapsed from the stress. And it was thanks to Marie Curie I was able to continue with my Sharyn! Yes it is the hardest job for which we have no training, but it was worth every minute with my lady!

16th April 2015, 20:32
Oh David, how hard everything is for you both, I hope you will have a good care plan in for both of you, You are a lovely man....not silly at all, I can only send my warmest wishes to you and prayers, in my usual way,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxDebbiexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxooo oooooooooooooooolots of virtual hugs
God Bless you x

16th April 2015, 21:11
Hi David,

I am so pleased that you have resolved the issues. Only us experience the limits of mental pressure and challenges that this disease may create. You have passed the test with flying colours.

Night walker
16th April 2015, 21:35
Hello David,
Am so glad xxx hugs xxxx Sylv I hope me and my hubby recognise the strain we will undoubtedly be under too because this disease just has to test the best of us. Xx

Nettie B
16th April 2015, 21:37
David. The answer to my prayers and those of other folks I'm certain.
I'm not at surprised that you both got to crisis point. I was close a couple of weeks ago. The GP saw the signs and with her help the care package came just in time. There but for fortune go lots of us!
It's such a frightening place to be for you both and this experience will make you both stronger. God bless you both ... and I'm so very, very pleased that you are both getting the help you needed.
XXXX Nettie.
Also, you are NOT a silly old man ... just human and fighting such a wicked disease!

16th April 2015, 22:17
Glad everything has been sorted and you are both ok. Steve is still mobile and has a voice, but he gets very frustrated because he can't do things and then gets upset that i can't do those things as well as he could. It does cause upsets between us now so don't what it will be like further along the line. We could all be in your situation at some point so don't feel bad about it you only human. Glad you are getting the help you need.
Sue xxx

16th April 2015, 22:37
Pleased to hear you are both getting some help, hold onto to each other and keep your love strong.
Love Gem

17th April 2015, 02:02
I'm SO relieved and glad you are ok. The stress on us and our loved ones is terrible. I'm glad you and your wife have worked things out. It is a horrible disease. You're not a silly man!! You're a good man and we care for you and your family. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))


17th April 2015, 06:48
David, relieved to hear that both of you are ok. Yes Carer's needs are being overlooked in MND management, unfortunately there are no easy solutions. One of the reason why i have selfishly chosen to live and deal with this issue alone. Take good care of one another. Best wishes Marieline

17th April 2015, 08:51
Dear David, so very glad you are going home. I know how Lisa must be feeling at times and just because you are either a carer or sufferer you are allowed to have the occasional fall out no matter how bad. I am sure that the break will do you both a lot of good.

It is so hard for us carers to watch our loved ones, and so hard for you all to have to rely on us so much. Take all the help and support that is offered you both deserve it.

Don't beat yourself up I am just glad that you are still here. Love. Diane

17th April 2015, 11:29
Hi David x I didn't see your original post, but am glad to see you're staying here with us :)

Becky x

17th April 2015, 11:58
I'm pleased to hear you're both going to get some much needed help. Than you for letting us all know.....an apology is not required.....all of us on here know how hard it is from either the carer's side or the MND side and so understand how very hard this disease is for all concerned xx

17th April 2015, 12:55
Dear David I too missed your first post but having read your latest it is good to hear that things are being resolved for you and life has become important again. It sounds like you had a revealing moment. MND gets to us all at some point, but knowing you are surrounded by love and care is the most important thing. May the help you and Lisa need take much of the stress away. With love xx

17th April 2015, 13:54
David, in no way shape or form are you being silly, its good to talk and if you can't speak openly here where can you? MND takes such an awful lot of things away from us but it can never take love away from those who care for/about us

17th April 2015, 16:45
Dear David.

Good grief, this, cruelest of diseases, makes us all do things so normally out of character. My husband, who is still trying to work, is my chief carer. We fall out all the time whereas before I would have stormed out of the house and gone for a walk errr ...something I can't do now!!!

You are in my thoughts and you are certainly NOT being silly.


18th April 2015, 11:38
I can't thank all of you enough for helping me through a bad time. Your advice and concern has proved that there are kind people about and this forum is like family to me.
Thans from the bottom of my heart.

18th April 2015, 11:48
David, you know very well that you would always be there like a shot for any of us, if we were troubled about things! So pleased to see your post come through today. Much love, as always Joycie. xx

18th April 2015, 11:50
I think that we all wish we could help each other more David;

It is nice knowing a little more about you as we understand a little more that you're going through.

Best wishes, Terry

18th April 2015, 12:14
Hi David,

This forum came to my rescue too during my two years of torment in Salford hospital. It was a relentless horrible time. I am coming through that ordeal and you will too. I hate the cliche, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger', but there is a ring of truth in it.

Take care


Pam S
18th April 2015, 16:45
David we all stumble, everyone of us that is why it is a comfort to go hand in hand. There are plenty of people on here to hold your hand through the difficult times. Love Pam xx

Nettie B
18th April 2015, 20:04
I've said it before and I'll say it again "I just love this forum". Help and kindness swinging backwards and forwards through the ether ... just wonderful and this really is what life should be about!

18th April 2015, 20:10
I hope you are in a better place now David. You are a wonderful guy, who has always been on the forum to give advice and exchange ideas. As Nettie says, there are wonderful, kind, caring people on here and that's exactly what human life should be about. Sending good wishes and hugs to you and your wonderful wife.

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