View Full Version : scared to hug

11th May 2015, 19:51
Hi all, was wondering if anyone has had the same fears of hugging their other half . I noticed I didn't want to put my arm across Tom's arms as they are twitching not because I'm afraid but it upsets me , as this is what is causing the damage and taking him bit by bit . Lorret

11th May 2015, 20:36
Hello lorret. Don't stop hugging him, twitching or no twitching! I have told Peter that we carry along the same. Nothing is going to stop the progress of this disease. Peter gets upset sometimes, he wants to treat me as though I am frail and fragile (even if I am a bit nowadays!). but it serves no useful purpose and I want nothing of it. You carry on hugging him, and squeezing him and telling him you love him more than the world!
Much love.
Joycie xx

11th May 2015, 20:51
Hi Lorret;

I think that you should hug him more to show that he is still wanted and valued. I understand some of your reservations but it won't do any good at all if you stop personal loving contact.

Hugs Terry

11th May 2015, 21:07
Thanks ... I know I will learn to deal with it . It's just something I didn't realize would bother me.

11th May 2015, 22:09
You probably are scared, lorret. That is the trouble. You are scared about how bad it will get, how it will manifest itself, how you will cope. It frightened the heck out of me and Peter when I was first diagnosed but all you can do is live every day and deal with it as it comes. It is heartbreaking, all of it. You wouldn't be human if it didn't bother you, would it? The best thing you are doing is admitting it disturbs you. Accept that and then you can cope. He is lucky to have you in his life just as I am with Peter. Much love. Joycie.

12th May 2015, 08:12
Hi Lorret before this disease me and my husband was always cuddling and laughing with each other but now we don't I feel a bad person as I don't cuddle my husband hardly he tells me he wants a cuddle but as soon as I do it just makes me cry but I'm trying more !!!

12th May 2015, 08:55
Dear Lorret

Keep on cuddling ..... When I twitch in front of my husband it is the weirdness of it that makes us laugh but when I twitch in front of other people and my husband is not around; I get frustrated because I cannot tell them quick enough that I am not in pain. In fact I have devised 'a phrase' on my Predictable App.

Yes an 'arm around' of reassurance works wonders


Nettie B
12th May 2015, 09:24
Dear Lorret.
During the journey that my Trevor and I had to travel with MND as the driver I learnt that with love comes so much pain. Pain is the price of love.
Hug away and don't fear the pain. Tears bring natural release to all the emotions that MND brings. You both need that release. The love that you feel will start to overcome that fear of the twitches. They are now part of your man and they will wax into insignificance as time goes on. Much love Nettie xxx

12th May 2015, 16:04
It's really good to hear from you, it's reassuring to know how you cope . We will learn to get on with issues and not waste a moment.

13th May 2015, 05:03
I know it is frightening but don't deny the comfort to either of you. Try making a goal - one short cuddle a day.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) )))))))))) Lynne

17th July 2016, 18:05
Hi , I have a question about Tom's arms, his skin feels funny almost snake like. It seems to be only on the inside of his forearm. Anyone else noticed similar. Lorret

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