View Full Version : Goodbye rituals

22nd April 2019, 14:55
I am thinking of saying goodbye to writing - by that I mean using a pen on paper.

I have always done quite a lot of voice dictation anyway and have taken handwritten notes using mind mapping with pen and paper when out and about at meetings, et cetera - or even when thinking about setting out the outline of the document.

However, having lost a substantial amount of the use of my dominant hand I find writing so difficult that I have almost given it up except for signing birthday cards and that kinda stuff.

We have just done our office clearing out thing and I realise how much paper I got stacked around the office in the form of notebooks et cetera that I will never ever use any more, so was thinking about how I can say goodbye to writing.

In that set me wondering about goodbye rituals -

I found this, https://exploringyourmind.com/everything-must-farewell-ritual/

which includes.........

"In todayís society, however, there are fewer and fewer rituals to announce the arrival of something new or the dismissal of something that passes. You could say that the only one of all those rituals that still survives is the funeral ritual."

Does anybody here have goodbye rituals as they lose things in their life and what kind of things do you do?

22nd April 2019, 15:06
Hi Andy;

Nothing replaces pen and paper, just to make a odd note that you can use beside you. Yes sure you can use the computer but to do a drawing with notes to explain things takes a hour, when pen and paper would have taken a few minutes.

Don't know about rituals, I'm to busy trying to work out ways of adapting.

Love Terry

22nd April 2019, 16:04
Hi Andy,

Where would we be without our tablets and phones with the ability to type in what we want to say or send. Predictive text is also useful although at times can be annoying. I have created label templates for family and friends addresses because writing is difficult and I even have a generic birthday and Christmas greeting label.

Like you I have been clearing out my 2 drawers filing cabinet and I asked myself why keep 10 years worth of tax returns and all the associated paperwork. I haven’t worked for 7 years but I still had all my documents and pay cheques. I had to keep stopping because my shredder was overheating.

How often do we look at photos we took and stored on our computer over 10 years ago but I expect other family members will look back when we are no longer here so they survive.

Best wishes,

22nd April 2019, 16:18
Hi Andy,

Talking of sorting through things .. and in my case shoes rather than paperwork....

I shed a few tears when I had to chuck out my glamorous collection of high-heeled shoes - I hate having to wear frumpy sensible flat shoes because of this bl...dy MND!

The issue of heels is probably not something that you and the other gentleman of the forum have had to deal with ? Lol - but I expect some ladies on the forum will get where I am coming from!

Love Kayleigh xx

22nd April 2019, 16:48
.. but, to be fair, some gentlemen here might still have some of those cool platform boots/shoes that they wore in the 1970's?!! :) :cool:....

Doug Carpenter
22nd April 2019, 17:44
I'm more concerned, Kayleigh, that you may have thrown out the stockings that doubtless went with the high heels at times!

Doug xx

22nd April 2019, 18:11
Just for you Doug (because I know you like a lady in stockings) Lol:o


Doug Carpenter
22nd April 2019, 19:19

Thanks Kayleigh, point taken.

But an old man can dream.....


Doug x

22nd April 2019, 19:21
Great to get a laugh! Won’t spoil it for anyone else but wasn’t expecting that when I clicked on link! It’s just so sad how much this awful disease robs people of every day things that were once taken for granted. Andy my husband is like Terry- no goodbye rituals but just trying so hard to adapt and I suppose I’m also trying hard to adapt both my mindset and my coping skills. Again Thank you all for sharing your thoughts, feelings, stories. It really has given me such a great insight into how my husband is feeling.

Kitty x

22nd April 2019, 19:42
Kayleigh, I was never a fan of high heels, but I know what you mean. Comfortable shoes for me now, I miss running around. Ah, Kathy staff a great actress, she was in loads of things.

22nd April 2019, 19:59
Hi Everyone,

I love the picture Kayleigh.. it really made me chuckle .Well done for finding it !

It's strange and very frivolous that with all the challenges of MND I too was very upset to throw out my high shoes and skinny Jeans. You would think that would be the least of my problems but I asked my husband to do it and I didn't watch.

On a positive note, now I am in a wheelchair I dont wear out my shoes and the warm weather makes it possible to be bare foot, which feels lovely.

Thanks for the laughs,
Love Debbie x

22nd April 2019, 21:19
I totally get it about the shoes. I was so upset to send my heels to charity. Was a bit selfish as I have friends with same size as me but i didn't want to see them wearing the shoes i loved

22nd April 2019, 21:49
Completely understandable and not selfish at all Pink.

Giving your shoes to charity instead of offering them to your friends was the most appropriate thing to do under the circumstances. Anyway, it was generous of you to give them to charity rather than selling them on e-bay!

You are a lovely lady with a heart of gold.

Love and hugs
Kayleigh xx

23rd April 2019, 10:03
Thanks to Andy for starting this thread and to Kayleigh for bringing a smile to my face with her pictures. Speaking of shoes I canít bring myself to throwing out my collection but over the last year I have only been wearing Sketchers.

Barry x

23rd April 2019, 11:19
Good morning Barry

Thanks to Andy for starting this thread and to Kayleigh for bringing a smile to my face with her pictures.

Thank you in return, and some of the responses have brought a smile to my face as well.

This is needed as I was crying over my 2 lovely fountain pens that I had as gifts from employers which I can no longer use and wondering about re-homing those and the bottles of ink I had kept.

For a long time I have been using voice dictation and my mobile phone to take notes but there is a real difference between doing this for convenience and having to do it because I cannot do anything else



23rd April 2019, 20:14
Oh ladies, high heels and skinny jeans. It was a sad day when I said goodbye to them and hello to flat shoes and elasticated waists.
Saying goodbye to my GHD’s was a tough one too. My husband does a great job blow drying my hair but asking him to master the GHD’s is a bit too much. Gentleman for your info GHD’s are magical hair straighteners! The ladies will know where I am coming from!

23rd April 2019, 21:30
GHD's seem like a distant memory now - happy memories of what seems like a different Kayleigh in another lifetime!

Oh for those care-free days, when all I had to worry about was making sure my hair and makeup was just as I liked it. I used to panic if I ran out of hairspray - seems so trivial now!

I can still manage to do a simple hair-style and a bit of make up - but with my unsteady hands, I definitely give the black eyeliner a miss these days!... but I've nearly managed to poke my eye out with the mascara wand, on several occasions! LOL :D

I suppose that I should admit defeat and chuck the make-up out - but after decades of wearing make-up every day, it's a hard habit to break! Would people recognise me without it? - and would I even recognise myself? LOL.

I suppose I'm just trying to cling onto as much of the Kayleigh I recognise, for as long as possible.

Never mind, I'll save lots of money by not ordering from Avon every month, and I'll enjoy letting the Summer sunshine give my 'boat race' a golden glow! :cool:

Love and hugs,
Kayleigh xx

24th April 2019, 09:06
It’s a two minute job getting ready to go out these days. And hardly any make-up take off at night so that’s got to be a bonus.I have my eyebrows and lashes tinted Kayleigh, after having poked myself in the eye several times like you and ended up looking like Alice Cooper!
I certainly wouldn’t go out without my lippy either. A girl has standards!
Please don’t chuck the makeup.
We must let our natural beauty shine through! XXX

24th April 2019, 09:39
Thanks for the great tip about tinting! - It will save me a lot of time and hassle. I agree about the lippy too! I definitely don't want my standards to slip - and where there's a will, there's a way :)
Kayleigh xx

24th April 2019, 10:05

I bet your husbands are delighted they no longer hang around waiting for you to get ready since you have discovered time saving methods lol.

When I get ready to go out my wife always adds 15 minutes to what I say because she is now hanging around for me.

Barry x

24th April 2019, 19:08
Good afternoon all,

As no one has come forward with suggestions for any ceremonies I have been in touch with some Dru yoga folk I know oop North , who I believe indulge in various sorts of rituals in the hope they may have something to suggest

Best to all


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