Meeting strangers

[michelle]

Well just had an incredible night out at the dancing on ice tour in Sheffield. My cousin is on the tour management so we had VIP access all areas passes. We hobnobbed in the VIP room with chris biggins and Matt ( the bloke from emmerdale) Jennifer Ellison and a host of other cast members. Thing is I tried to deflect questions made to my mum. I feel bad as I don't know if I was doing it for her or me. She really struggles to speak and I feel very protective of her. Am I doing this wrong. I don't want to have to explain to strangers that she can't speak but I don't want to take away her automamy.

Michelle

[pete]

Hi michelle,

Glad you enjoyed the night out and i bet your mom did too, Its a sad time ,for me i prefer my wife to tell others that we meet upfront i cannot talk that well, it saves me the embarrassment of thinking they think i am being ignorant , not joining in with the conversation,, Would love to but now the fact is i cannot now talk other than the odd words when its a good day , So I think your doing the right thing, hows your mom feel about it , as for the bragging thats fine it could have been worse it could have been Jedward ?,

Regards

Pete

[michelle]

Hi Pete
I don't know if my mum realises her speech is as bad as it is now and I really haven't the heart to tell her I can't understand her so I usually just agree with her and hope it the right answer. I am afraid that if I tell her she may stop communicating with people all together which I don't want. I find it amusing in a way, all my life I've wished she would stop nagging at me, now I wish she could. Oh the irony of it all, you really do have to smile.

Best wishes

Michelle

[pete]

Hi Pete
I don't know if my mum realises her speech is as bad as it is now and I really haven't the heart to tell her I can't understand her so I usually just agree with her and hope it the right answer. I am afraid that if I tell her she may stop communicating with people all together which I don't want. I find it amusing in a way, all my life I've wished she would stop nagging at me, now I wish she could. Oh the irony of it all, you really do have to smile.

Best wishes

Michelle

Hi michelle,

Whatever way you decide will be the wrong one? such are parents, I can understand you predicament only to well , I knew my speech was quite bad ,and silly we had a new car with bluetooth on (waste of time that is now ) but i decided to pair the phone and it asks for a name i tried but when played back ,well i couldnt understand it either ,no wonder the car couldnt ,oh well as you say ,you have to smile or burst into tears ,i would rather smile ,and i guess you would as well, I dont know the answer yet the lightwriter isnt that good but better than nothing ,and the jjaybe speech is a lot more natural ,but involves a laptop ,dont know how your mom would feel about that , I hope you find a way to solve the problem and it is a big problem good luck and keep smiling , if you do find a good one let me know please.

Best Wishes to you

pete

[nelson2996]

I feel the same, my mum cannot speak at all, but she has a letter board to communicate. It kills me when they ask ME or my DAD what she wants... Ask HER! However, I know when my mum's speech was first going, she found in awkward, so was pleased if I kind of said what she wanted to say, I think in retrospect because she can tell me in a look or gesture what she is feeling or wanting to express, it was the right balance. Some of the nurses are hilarious around her, in their brains, because she can't speak, she must be deaf... so they speak really loud and slow... she taps her board soooo fast to tell me to tell them that that is NOT the case! Tha.ts not that much help I suppose, I think what I'm trying to say is, just do whatever aids, without over powering

[nelson2996]

Mum has a lightwriter, but found the board that I made her quicker and simpler to use, just a piece of card, never needs charging etc. I cold e-mail you my example, or if you know how to attch a document on here I could do that. Something that was recommended, but we never pursued, was the i pad.

[michelle]

Thanks nelson2996 I have an I pad but she cant use it her arms and hands are weak and very shaky. She can hold a pen so I have a pad on her table so is she wants to give me instructions she can, which can be hilarious as she can't spell, she asked for maynase ( mayonnaise)once I only got that one cos my hubby thought that was how you spelt it. Thanks for the offer of the email I'll send you my email address cos I don't know how o use this blinking iPad either.

Thanks Pete your fast being my mnd touchstone.

Best wishes

Michelle