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Thread: What a mess

  1. #41
    Forum Member Dude's Avatar
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    David If your care does not cater for 24/7 care then please stay where you are because I believe *** can be drawn back from the edge. I know the scenario well. Love to you both. Dude xx
    Last edited by Jay_MND; 13th June 2016 at 12:33.

  2. #42
    Forum Member Nettie B's Avatar
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    Our dear David,
    We carers have such complex and diffeting needs. I remember that for a long time I really appreciated emotional support, and that's all I needed.
    As Trevor's needs became greater I just kept on accepting more responsibility and taking on more tasks as the need arose and whenever they arose, day and night.
    I loved him and that's what I expected of myself.
    I didn't notice what was happening to me till I started getting so crabby and angry from time to time for no apparent reason.
    When someone pointed out to me that this must be very frightening for Trevor, I told the GP and she arranged CHC as a matter of urgency.
    I'm pretty sure we would have been right where you and *** have been without that intervention.
    I just needed sleep, sleep and more sleep!! What a difference that made to our relationship. Is this what *** needs? Is she able to get quality sleep? If not, is night time cover what she needs most, or does she need more even 24 hours? What does she feel she needs?
    We had a mixture of carers from a care team and from the hospice. They worked together to give us help over Easter Bank Holiday, day and night, despite shortage of staff over that period, though naturally there were some gaps.
    Could your GP make sure that *** has help at the times that are most helpful to her? 24 hours if necessary?
    They need to be working WITH *** FOR both of you.
    Love and prayers to you both ... Nettie X
    Last edited by Jay_MND; 13th June 2016 at 12:33.

  3. #43
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    Hi David,
    Glad you have posted. I hope you get the help you both need. I think it would be better if people were in the same room when sorting all this out so the assessment is done properly with everyone's needs taken into account.
    All my best thoughts with you.
    Sylv x

  4. #44
    Forum Member DaiTheDragon's Avatar
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    Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
    Home this afternoon and will keep you updates
    David

  5. #45
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    Good news that you are going home and i hope you and your wife are fully supported. Nettie has hit the nail on the head for carers. We think we should be able to cope (and want to) but this isn't for a couple of nights it's ongoing for a long time. If carers are reading this thread i hope they'll ask and get the support they need before it reaches crisis point.

  6. #46
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    Hi candle
    As much as I want to be able to read the signs of a meltdown I don't think I will see it coming either if it happens. I feel for every carer on the planet right now.
    Xx

  7. #47
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    Hi Nightwalker. I think the point I was trying to make was that carers should ask for help even when they appear to be coping. This could be for just a few hours initially because most of us wouldn't recognise an impending crisis in advance. I accept it's easier said than done though.

  8. #48
    Forum Member DaiTheDragon's Avatar
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    So far so good. Thing are near normal, just got to be careful what I say.
    Some careers don't want to ake for help because think they should do it on their own. Some don't realise that they are having meltdown till it's too late. Because I am with her all the time I can see the bizarre and odd things she does but if doctor sees her she seems quite normal. Unless she reconizes she needs help it's very hard to to convince any body.
    David

  9. #49
    Forum Member lorret's Avatar
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    So good to here you are both back home. It must be wonderful to be back, hope you get a routine that you are being looked after. Lorret

  10. #50
    Forum Member Terry's Avatar
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    I sort of know what you mean David;

    I think a lot of our other halves troubles come from the other pressures like, having to run all of the house, garden and car things, the trouble in getting medication and help advice, extra pressures due to so many jobs worth's that want to be seen doing the right things but actually only confuse and waste valuable time. There's so many extra things put on our other halves, and they have to care for us on top of it all.

    Love Terry
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