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Thread: paralysed and living alone

  1. #1
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    paralysed and living alone

    on Monday I will entering a new chapter in my life, leaving respite and going home to live alone with just the aid from paid carers that will just be coming in. the reason for this? because I don't want to be in a care home. wife is taking our son with her as she has had enough and says I am making her homeless because I am unreasonable. am I?

  2. #2
    Forum Member Terry's Avatar
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    Sorry for your situation Lv73;

    Mnd puts a tremendous strain on any relationship, like many of us know. I just feel for you and your wife.

    You have a right to be there and if your wife wants to move out than she has that right too. Don't know if your son is old enough to make his own mind up or if he will pop in from time to time.

    I guess you've had time to evaluate the care home verses home for your life.

    I don't think you're unreasonable to live where you think you will be most happy.

    Love Terry
    TB once said that "The forum is still the best source for friendship and information."

    It will only remain so if new people post and keep us updated on things that work or don't work and tips.

    Please post on old threads that are of use so that others see them and feel free to start new subjects and threads.

  3. #3
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    my son is 1.5 year old

  4. #4
    Forum Member Kayleigh's Avatar
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    Hello IV73.

    I am so sorry for the terrible situation you find yourself in. It must be such a difficult decision to make - would you rather be in a care home where you are in the company of other people all the time or at home alone with only the company of carers? If you were to go into a care home would this be enough of a compromise for you to maintain some sort of relationship with your wife so that she visits you there with your son - or has the relationship broken down completely anyway?

    In my opinion, she is NOT being reasonable saying that you are making her homeless because it is not you who is making her leave (it is her who is deciding to leave). I am not sure what your position is legally but if the home is jointly owned or jointly rented then wouldn't both of you have the right to live there?

    It is so sad that it has come to this. MND can put such a terrible strain on the strongest of relationships and even if we have said 'in sickness and in health' in our marriage vows, MND can put those vows to the ultimate test.

    Marriage is about love and supporting each other, with each person sometimes having to make compromises along the way. However, the unreasonable level of stress and anxiety that MND can inflict does not make this easy on anyone! I hope that you and your wife can come to some sort of compromise together so that you can maintain some contact with her and your son. It is such a sad situation, especially as there is a child involved. My best wishes to you.

    Kayleigh x

  5. #5
    Forum Member Terry's Avatar
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    Hi Lv73;

    I don't think that words that I can say here would describe how you feel.

    It would be so nice to see your son a lot of the time.

    Love Terry

  6. #6
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    I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I hope you and your wife can work something out

  7. #7
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    When you get married, the words "in sickness and in health" I have been married 40 yrs and going out four four or five years before that, as terry says it puts a real strain on a relationship, I signed up for life and will honour my commitment, things a tuff but I just get on with doing the best I can, we all have a tiff now and again but that's life.

  8. #8
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    well it has now been nearly 48 hours since I became "single". my wife left with her parting shot - came into the respite on Monday when I was waiting for a taxi to go home. raising her voice in front of staff and service users saying I will never see my son again , glad he is young enough to forget me as she will tell him nothing about me. would fight me through the courts. charming ! I now have carers in 8-1+5-10 the rest of the time I am alone. do I miss her her, hell no but it's killing me not seeing my son and she knew how to go straight for the jugular. I don't even have the luxury of time to fight her in the courts.

  9. #9
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    I'm so sorry for you. Can any other family members talk to her to help you see your son.

  10. #10
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    you have a right to see your Son. Seek advice x

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