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Thread: Meltdown

  1. #11
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    I feel for you.
    it's a topical topic for me this as carers are now being discussed for myself. I was told yesterday that there are two grades of carer, standard NHS and a "premium" team that you pay a little more for. is this true? at the moment my wife is my carer.

  2. #12
    Forum Member Gillette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iron Will View Post
    I feel for you.
    it's a topical topic for me this as carers are now being discussed for myself. I was told yesterday that there are two grades of carer, standard NHS and a "premium" team that you pay a little more for. is this true? at the moment my wife is my carer.
    Hi Iron Will,

    I haven't heard anything about two grades of carers. Who was it who told you that? Also, where do you live? I'm just wondering if you're in Scotland as the system is a bit different there.
    Dina


    Trying to keep positive, but not always managing.

  3. #13
    Forum Member Gillette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Carpenter View Post
    Dear Dina

    I am so, so sorry to hear about your day. Big hug!

    Thank you for sharing. This is exactly the place to rant. Youíve been put in an intolerable situation not of your making. Your feelings are entirely justified and in no way unreasonable.

    As CC says, donít beat yourself up.

    Another big hug!

    Doug x
    Hi Doug,

    Well the day has finally improved as I have, not one, but TWO big hugs from you! Thank you.
    Dina


    Trying to keep positive, but not always managing.

  4. #14
    Forum Member Gillette's Avatar
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    Thank you, everyone, for your support - it was just what I needed.

    I've decided to write off today - it simply hasn't been worth the bother.
    Dina


    Trying to keep positive, but not always managing.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gillette View Post
    Hi Iron Will,

    I haven't heard anything about two grades of carers. Who was it who told you that? Also, where do you live? I'm just wondering if you're in Scotland as the system is a bit different there.
    I'm in Manchester. I was talking to someone about beds, hoists and carers when they just said there were carers and carers. the feeling was go private . not ready yet but I thought it was worth noting. I'm still in reasonable nick so no rush, of course time will tell.

  6. #16
    Forum Member Gillette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iron Will View Post
    I'm in Manchester. I was talking to someone about beds, hoists and carers when they just said there were carers and carers. the feeling was go private . not ready yet but I thought it was worth noting. I'm still in reasonable nick so no rush, of course time will tell.
    When the time comes, if you're thinking of going private, it would be wise to use an agency that doesn't do care for social services. The reason I say this is that if your carers are doing social services as well as private work, they will be pushed for time. I think you would struggle to get the service you are after.

    Another point to consider is cost. I have to have two carers at a time as they have to use a hoist. At the moment, social services in Bury Council area don't charge more for two carers than just one. However, if you go privately you would have to pay for each of them. In addition, the rate full cost payers are charged is 25% less than the agency charges privately. These differences can make a huge difference to the amount you have to pay for care.
    Dina


    Trying to keep positive, but not always managing.

  7. #17
    Forum Member Ellie's Avatar
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    Hi Dina,

    We all have meltdowns and understand exactly how you feel and what provokes them!!! Big hug to you

    I've bee dependent on carers since 2008, so have had a few differences with carers - we can't expect to get on with every carer, nor them with us. It IS important to trust a carer and have a good rapport with them, particularly as they get more involved with your personal care.

    I have learned to nip relationship issues in the bud and to have friendly, open and honest chats with them - if that doesn't improve things, I contact their manager and take it from there. In my experience, most, not all issues, can be sorted out amicably and is often due to a simple misunderstanding left to fester....

    I have twice asked for a carer to be removed from my care team.

    Best of luck to you!

    Love Elllie.
    ​Diagnosed 03/2007. Sporadic Definite ALS/MND Limb Onset.
    Eye gaze user - No working limbs - No speech - Feeding tube - Overnight NIV.

  8. #18
    Forum Member Lynne K's Avatar
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    Hi Dina. I hope that today has been easier for you.
    Probably about the time of your strife I was having a shitty day because of husband troubles. He decided to have an enormous rant at me. I tried to hold my own but was too upset to get my words out. It's hard enough speaking as it is. 24 hours later there's still tension in the air. He rarely apologises for anything. It's usually all the other persons fault. But the level of anger and how he threw things back in my face that he's done for me feels wholly inappropriate. He's always been this way and pulls no punches for MND. I'm seriously worried for the future. Lynne
    ALS diagnosed November 2017, limb onset. For the 4 yrs previously I was losing my ballance.
    I'm staying positive and taking each day as it comes.

  9. #19
    Forum Member Terry's Avatar
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    Hi Lynne,

    Hope things have calm down more. Life is extra extra hard when you can't communicate quickly and well. It is just impossible to explain things in that situation.

    I think that most of us worry about our other halves and the future care.

    Hugs Terry

  10. #20
    Forum Member Ellie's Avatar
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    Lynne, I am so, so sorry for your situation.

    Any chance you can get a week respite and give you a break away from him?

    Big hugs to you...

    Love Ellie.
    ​Diagnosed 03/2007. Sporadic Definite ALS/MND Limb Onset.
    Eye gaze user - No working limbs - No speech - Feeding tube - Overnight NIV.

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