Well itís been 18 months since I lost my lovely husband and after the anniversary of his death Iíve been feeling worst and worst , Iím feeling guilty thatís maybe I didnít care for him correctly or that I took all my frustrations out on him or that I was a bad wife cause I went out for drink so with my friends when I should have been spending the time with him .

And worst of all I keep seeing him die, the last few moments are killing me, Iíve recently had to take a few weeks of work sick cause I couldnít cope at work , Iíve gone back to counselling, Iím just feeling so alone right now , everything has changed th house is so quiet

Sorry I just thought someone may understand where Iím coming from