Heartbroken

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  • shrew
    Forum Member
    • Jul 2018
    • 338

    Heartbroken

    Hi
    I am heartbroken to announce that my lovely Husband Mick passed suddenly and unexpectedly yesterday. His walking at got really bad and his head was on his chest. He had had 4 falls in the last 2 weeks. His OT was coming yesterday so I came home at 10am for the appt.They discussed a walker and a hoist to get him up, we also talked about going through the MND forum to fast track our stair lift. Knowing that he would want to look at our bed I opened the bedroom curtains and the window. On my way back to work I questioned whether I had closed them. There is only about 6inch between end of the bed and the wall so I sidled through and Mick had the side near bedroom door. I came home at 4.40pm and the door was locked and he wasnt in his recliner. I went upstairs and bedroom door was open. I looked on the bed and thought he must be out back. When I turned he had fallen between bed and the wall, so was partly on bed and stuck in space. He hadnt pressed his alert. I could see he had gone. I feel like I have killed him. He probably fell and couldnt breathe. His chest was bad. I am heartbroken and it wont sink in
  • Annb
    Forum Member
    • Sep 2017
    • 57

    #2
    Oh Shrew, of course you aren't responsible. You really don't know what happened. You are still in shock. Even when you know it is going to happen death it is always a shock. You cared for your husband so lovingly and he will have known how much you loved him.
    I will think of you and send you lots of love. Take care.
    Ann x

    Comment

    • Ellie
      Forum Member
      • Oct 2012
      • 12487

      #3
      Oh no Shrew, I am so shocked at reading this. I am absolutely heartbroken for you as I know Mick was your world...

      I cannot comprehend the turmoil you're in but please, please don't think you were a factor in Mick's death.

      Please accept my deepest and heartfelt condolences.

      RIP Mick.

      Love Ellie.
      ​Diagnosed 2007. Sporadic Definite ALS/MND Spinal (hand) Onset.
      Significant bulbar impairment - No functional limbs - No speech - Feeding tube - Overnight NIV - Eye gaze user
      .

      Comment

      • Boiler68
        Forum Member
        • Feb 2018
        • 82

        #4
        Oh no Shrew..i’m so terribly sorry for you..please please don’t blame yourself..your husband would not want you to blame yourself. It’s obvious how much you loved him dearly. I don’t know what else to say really but hope that you can feel the love we all send you at this awful time.
        Rest peacefully Mick.

        Xxx

        Comment

        • Olivia H
          Forum Member
          • Jul 2018
          • 481

          #5
          My heartfelt sympathy xx
          Olivia.

          Comment

          • Kayleigh
            Forum Member
            • Nov 2018
            • 1227

            #6
            Dear Shrew,

            I'm extremely sorry to hear such sad news about Mick.

            Please don't think that it was your fault that he passed when he did. It definitely wasn't your fault that Mick had reached his time to drift away with the angels.

            Mick always knew you loved him with all of your heart, just as much as he loved you. He wouldn't want you to feel guilty about anything.

            You are an extremely kind and caring lady and you always looked after Mick lovingly and with the utmost care. Please don't blame yourself for anything.

            I wish I could do more for you than just post this message. My thoughts are with you. Please take care of yourself and I hope you have family and friends to support and comfort you.

            Rest in peace Mick.

            Thinking of you Shrew and sending you lots of love and hugs,
            Kayleigh xx
            Last edited by Kayleigh; 4 July 2019, 16:10.

            Comment

            • Terry
              Forum Member
              • May 2012
              • 1917

              #7
              So sorry Shrew,

              Shocked, heartbroken do say little about how you feel. Mick was big part of the forum and will be sadly missed.

              Sorry for you that you found him that way, Mnd people all take risks, especially with falling. I often look at my fire place with raised ball corners and think that I should cover them but where do you stop. There are so many risks.

              RIP Mick

              Terry
              TB once said that "The forum is still the best source for friendship and information."

              It will only remain so if new people post and keep us updated on things that work or don't work and tips.

              Please post on old threads that are of use so that others see them and feel free to start new subjects and threads.

              Comment

              • MeToo
                Forum Member
                • Jul 2019
                • 9

                #8
                Condolences,
                I joined yesterday, so we haven't shared any posts. But all us newbies wish you well.
                Very sad for your loss,
                Ben.

                Comment

                • nunhead_man
                  Forum Member
                  • Jul 2017
                  • 602

                  #9
                  Shrew, I am so sorry to hear this and I am not surprised that you are heartbroken and as is said above, Mick will be sorely missed.

                  Also, you must not think that you are yourself responsible - each of us is responsible for ourselves and whilst obviously we try to help others as much as we can, beyond a certain point, there is nothing we can do

                  Warmly
                  Warmly


                  Andy

                  ​Diagnosed 03/2015. One sided limb onset (arm) sporadic PMA/MND - now 90% left arm and 90% right arm, plus other bits including both shoulders and also some breathing issues – Campaign contact Winchester and Southampton branch, and trustee of the Association

                  "Things turn out the best for people who make the best of the way things turn out"

                  Comment

                  • Deb
                    Forum Member
                    • May 2018
                    • 2174

                    #10
                    Oh Shrew, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Mick.

                    You must be so shocked by the suddenness but you must not blame yourself in any way. It's obvious how much you loved Mick and you cared for him with absolute devotion.

                    I hope you have love and support around you from friends and family.

                    RIP Mick.
                    Thinking of you, Shrew
                    Love Debbie x

                    Comment

                    • Barry52
                      Forum Member
                      • Mar 2012
                      • 1523

                      #11
                      I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your beloved Mick. Please don’t blame yourself Shrew as we never know when our time is up and you certainly did everything possible to make his life comfortable.

                      Mick’s contribution to our forum family will be missed and I hope you have family support to help you with the grieving.

                      Barry x
                      I’m going to do this even if it kills me!

                      Comment

                      • Doug Carpenter
                        Forum Member
                        • May 2017
                        • 720

                        #12
                        Dear Shrew

                        You've had a terrible shock and I send heartfelt condolences.

                        But you are not, repeat not, responsible in any way for Mick's death. It was a tragic accident. You loved and cared for him brilliantly.

                        Thinking of you.

                        Doug x
                        Diagnosed April 2017

                        Comment

                        • Gillette
                          Forum Member
                          • Mar 2019
                          • 710

                          #13
                          Dear Shrew,

                          I'm so sorry that your beloved Mick has died and that it was so sudden and unexpected. Such an awful shock for you.

                          I hope you have family or friends who can help you with all the practical matters that have to dealt with during the next two or three weeks, as well as giving you support and understanding as you try to come to terms with your loss.
                          Dina

                          Trying to keep positive, but not always managing.

                          Comment

                          • Sheila
                            Forum Member
                            • Feb 2019
                            • 299

                            #14
                            So very sad to hear about your husband Mick, I hope you have support from family and friends. I am thinking of you Shrew, I think you told me your name was Sheila.
                            Best wishes
                            Sheila x

                            Comment

                            • Sueb
                              Forum Member
                              • Aug 2014
                              • 86

                              #15
                              Shrew I am shocked at reading your news but you can’t blame yourself in any way. Think of all the good times you have had together and all the memories you have made.

                              Condolences to you and your family.

                              Sue and Steve

                              Comment

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