Thank you everyone for you encouraging words and very useful suggestions (great ideas, Broostine93 & Ellie, thanks!). And apologies for not having responded sooner but my worst nightmare happened today.

Sue had gone out - I’d already been to the loo and the carers were due in just a couple of hours so I was relaxing in my chair, and did some meditation, planning to pick up on Grace & Frankie - which I’ve watched some of previously but not for a while. Then I felt some tell-tale gurgles in my tummy.... I’ll spare you the details but suffice to say the very worst happened (we’re not talking #1...), and I had to sit in it for 45 minutes before the carers arrived- and to add to things, one of them was someone I hadn’t met before!

Mortified doesn’t come close.

Not for the first time, just as I manage to pick myself up, I have a set-back.

But...looking on the positive side, it was just an embarrassment and inconvenience after all, nothing painful or life-threatening - which so many of you on here are facing. So I’m counting my blessings and at least now my worst nightmare has happened...and I survived!!

Not only that, I’m armed with some great tips as to how to cheer myself up. I know I have to try to enjoy every day if I can because I’m blessed with a very happy marriage as well as amazing friends and family , who are really coming through for me. Sue and I have only been together for 6 years but that’s better than nothing and we’re so grateful for any time we have together. And...our WAV is being delivered next Tuesday so I’ll be able to get out and about, especially going on walks with my much loved dogs. I’m having trouble bonding with now I can’t walk, feed or talk to them - I even struggle to reach them now to stroke, let alone cwtch, which breaks my heart.

To answer a couple of your questions, the hoists I have are ceiling tract ones, with slings. But I’m not a small woman and the OT said I’m a double hander (charming!). We’ve also tried 2 types of sit to stand ones (Stedys) but they don’t work for me either. And I’m not drinking enough either - I enjoy water (tho I tend to have ribena), but can only take tiny sips at a time and going to the loo is such an effort. But I know I need to address that. I can have fluids through my peg of course, but that tends to make my stomach even more upset. Seeing the nutritionist (again) tomorrow and will discuss it with her - again again! (I don’t think a ladies urinal bottle would work for me unfortunately, Debbie, as I don’t have much strength in my hands and arms.)

I’ll definitely check that blog out, thanks Ellie. As for the caravan, Sheila - yes I’m gutted about it - still processing it to be honest, it’s just too heartbreaking to think about too much at the moment.

Thanks again everyone for indulging my self pity once again. I’m giving myself a stern talking to and am determined to be more positive - & like you say Terry, try not to look too far ahead.

And I want to be there for you guys when you need it too. This is such a wonderful forum. Xx