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    Fairy enough Ellie!

    This year I have 2 options for serving up my fixed menu of festive fun.

    OPTION 1 (Cracker of an Advent Calendar):-

    I could keep my Christmas jokes wrapped up until the 1st of Decem-myrrh.

    And I would be as good as Gold (and thrice as Wise) by asking my postman, Mr Frank Insense, to deliver just one joke each day, so that I could make a daily Christmas posting of a joke onto the forum's 'Festive Advent Calendar thread'.

    My s-elf, I would never open any of my calendar in advance, anyway. But if I used my 'mince pies' to take a sneaky peak, I could get put on Santa's naughty list or even candy caned by Frosty the Snowman! LOL - and I wouldn't want my angelic halo to slip off into my Christmas pudding mix (which could result in a rather halogenous and salty tasting pud, if the halo reacted with the sixpence!) LOL

    I snow that my 'Cracker of an Advent Calendar' wouldn't be as sweet as a Cadbury's one - but mine would be free of all delivery charges and it would avoid family members sleighing each other over who is going to be gifted with the daily chocolate star or snowflake.

    OPTION 2 (Christmas Selection Box of Puns and Jokes):-

    I could hide my festive jokes in Santa's Sack until after Terry's annual unveiling of his 'Festive Avatar'?? . . that date is usually a Secret Santa - and I promise not to display my 'seasonal avatar' until you reveal yours TC!

    .... Anyway, all people want to do at Christmas is indirectly run up my credit card bills, demolish all my chocolate log and get tipsy on my Tia Maria! - Bah humbug!! LOL.. and Never Mind the Presents LOL ...
    http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bLZVcKgCylE

    Pre-seasonal Greetings!

    Love,
    Kayleigh x

    Comment


      Doc, I can't stop singing Green Green Grass of Home.
      It sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.
      Is it common?
      it's not unusual.....

      http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hxiHrN-5dOQ

      ... and it wouldn't be unusual to be a fan of this Green Green Grass ...but would you prefer it in Tom's or Elvis's green pastures??....

      http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gx9ytubmh-U

      ...however, you might think the Grass is Greener on the other side??

      http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k07FfEBgfmA

      Love,
      Kayleigh
      Last edited by Kayleigh; 8 November 2019, 15:30.

      Comment


        Originally posted by Barry52 View Post

        I must confess to never seeing an episode of bay watch, something to do with lifeguards!!!

        Spice Girls - no comment.

        Love,
        Barry
        Hi Barry,

        I thought I'd reply to your post with a smidgen of my sweet memories and some even sweeter merry melodies. Hopefully they will be amusing to your eyes and sweet music to your ears (rather than an annoying attack on all your senses! LOL).

        I didn't watch Baywatch much - although it was a very popular TV show in the '80s and it did offer a colossal candy-cart of eye-candy for its viewers (including Sugar Daddies and Cougars! LOL):-

        A taster of vintage 1980's American cheese ...LOL...
        http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O0nqwgu_Us4

        I was a fan of David Hassellhof in Knight Rider - and not only is he still a popular heart-throb, apparently he's a successful popstar too (particularly in Germany):-

        http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ybwY-YGTurQ

        However, these 'hunnies' don't appear to be very attracted to The Hoff"s honey trap!! ..... LOL. ....

        http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dm7jEA3frY4

        Love
        Kayleigh

        P.S.....

        I'm not surprised the Spice Girls don't appeal to you - but perhaps these Sweet Girls will press the right buttons?..LOL...

        http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D_Us2oVejmU
        Last edited by Kayleigh; 9 November 2019, 18:41. Reason: Changed 1st video clip.

        Comment


          Hi Kayleigh,

          I enjoyed knight rider and who would have thought back then that current cars do all the magic they portrayed. I think DH should stick to acting however the lyrics in “get into my car” made me laugh.

          Love,
          Barry
          I’m going to do this even if it kills me!

          Comment


            Just I the gym drinking coffee and playing Yesterday and then Can't Buy Me Love by the Beatles.

            Then I thought of this one especially for Judy.

            https://youtu.be/FhXU8c8qwXs gets a bit loud after 3 minutes in.

            Love Terry
            TB once said that "The forum is still the best source for friendship and information."

            It will only remain so if new people post and keep us updated on things that work or don't work and tips.

            Please post on old threads that are of use so that others see them and feel free to start new subjects and threads.

            Comment


              Originally posted by Barry52 View Post
              Hi Kayleigh,

              I enjoyed knight rider and who would have thought back then that current cars do all the magic they portrayed. I think DH should stick to acting however the lyrics in “get into my car” made me laugh.

              Love,
              Barry
              It reminded me of this song:

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnBM4TV6JCU
              Dina

              Trying to keep positive, but not always managing.

              Comment


                Originally posted by Barry52 View Post
                Hi Kayleigh,

                I enjoyed knight rider and who would have thought back then that current cars do all the magic they portrayed. I think DH should stick to acting however the lyrics in “get into my car” made me laugh.

                Love,
                Barry
                The Hoff might find it difficult to get acting parts because he might not be as popular as he thought?? LOL

                Apparently, The Hoff thinks that the Berlin Wall came down quickly because of him.
                So true! It was taken down rapidly - because everyone wanted to escape from his singing! LOL

                And at a German beer festival recently...
                The Hoff we went off in a hoff,
                when some fans gave him the brush-hoff,
                'to follow the bear' (the famous Meister Hof)!

                Then there was a stand-hoff ...
                when The Hoff's music was turned-hoff,
                because he hadn't settled the bar-tab (for all he had schoffed),
                but 'hofficially' the Hoff had already paid it hoff!!

                And it all kicked-hoff ...
                when The Hoff claimed the bar was a rip-hoff,
                that sold lager that was obviously knock-hoff,
                and which lorry had that bear fallen hoff the back hoff??

                The Hoff said he wouldn't return - not even for thoffee,
                or their hot hofferings of free refills of choffee,
                and didn't they know that if it wasn't for the Hoff,
                the Berlin Wall wouldn't hoff come down so quickly??

                He could hoff hoffensively told them all to **** off,
                but 'hofficially' he politely
                waved and spun-hoff,
                'unhofficially' to a campsite near Dusseldhoff ...

                http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1XNvdk6Zpbc

                and then The Hoff strutted hoff to a dance-hoff!! ....

                http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zARl1jRDwY8

                I hope you've enjoyed today's hoffer of humour and hopefully the links to the video-clips weren't a Hassel and they went on and Hoff when they were supposed to.

                Love to everyone,
                Kayleigh x
                Last edited by Kayleigh; 10 November 2019, 20:56.

                Comment


                  P.S Sorry, at first I must hoff put the wrong video-links on my post! - but it was no hassel for me to change them and the correct links are there now!
                  Last edited by Kayleigh; 10 November 2019, 18:30.

                  Comment


                    Hi Dina

                    I too remember this song and the lyrics are cheesy.

                    Kayleigh you should be writing scripts for a tv comedy as you have a talent with words. Are you related to either of the great pair Galton and Simpson?

                    Love
                    Barry
                    I’m going to do this even if it kills me!

                    Comment


                      My carers and I have been having a laugh this afternoon while they were trying get me straight in bed. We’ve decided that this is our theme tune:

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUT5rEU6pqM
                      Dina

                      Trying to keep positive, but not always managing.

                      Comment


                        LOL

                        Love that song Dina. If you're going to shake your hips that's the only way to do it !

                        CCxox

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by ccinjersey View Post
                          LOL

                          Love that song Dina. If you're going to shake your hips that's the only way to do it !

                          CCxox
                          Well, my carers spend a lot of time shaking my hips to get me in the right position and it has been said that my hips move better than Shakira’s! (Well, someone could have said it. )
                          Dina

                          Trying to keep positive, but not always managing.

                          Comment


                            While Shakira was shakin' her 'assets', 'Shaky' was shakin' his house down LOL.....

                            http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CgoDYK3IlGg

                            Love
                            Kayleigh x
                            Last edited by Kayleigh; 12 November 2019, 13:07.

                            Comment


                              ... and AInsley & Natalie were shakin' their booty, rattlin' their rib-cage and rollin' their eyes (and ears, and nose and mouth) ... LOL ....

                              http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e-aF3MsNScY

                              Comment


                                ... then Ball said to Cannon "Rock on Tommy" ...

                                http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh9ikAcVblA

                                and the audience were so shook-up, from rockin' and rollin' in the aisles, they asked The Jacksons to shake their bodies down ... LOL ...

                                http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Am70KRnUL3k

                                Love
                                'Catapult Kayleigh' x

                                ... although, last time I was Cannon and Ball's warm-up act ... I was supposed to fire-up the audience with enthusiasm, before the main act - but my jokes fizzled-out and fell flat before they had even reached the back of the crowd!

                                And although Cannon & Ball's gags are like dynamite (never failing to bring the house down with repeated rounds of applause), mine went up in smoke, then my knees went to jelly - and my puns got custard pied! LOL

                                Despite, all the Balls-ups, Cannon offered me a dynamic re-launch as 'Cross-bow Kayleigh' - but, unfortunately, all those custard pies had made me cross-eyed and the only bow I could find was the one in my hair! LOL

                                Comment

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