Smile

[matthew55]

I don't know about you, but I think a joke a day keeps the devil at bay. So to start:
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint and a mop. 😁
Over to you guys. x

[GaryM]

The other day I saw one of those new "driverless" cars. In fact, I saw a whole car park full of them!

[denise]

How did father christmas get on when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!
🎅

[Ellie]

My Go-To jokes would definitely fall foul of the approval gods. I shall have to get my thinking cap on...

In the meantime - Chastity: leaves a lot to be desired.

[Bowler]

Got stopped by the police last night on the
way home from pub
the police lady get out the car and walk towards me
she said you are Staggering
i replied you’re not bad looking yourself

[Bowler]

Some low life has stolen a tree from our front garden bring back the birch I say

[Suefromwakey]

Hi Bowler - they made me laugh for a change, thanks

Sue

[Bowler]

Hi Sue...come here there’s more

Just seen a sign in the butchers shop
Turkey £29
thats £300 cheaper than Thomas Cooke

My wife think I’m financially irresponsible
wait till she finds out I’ve won the Nigerian lottery

[Ellie]

Bowler At this rate I'll expect to see you headlining Hammersmith Apollo.

I love a good one-liner 😃 X

[Heather R]

What did the ocean say to the shore?

[DJW]

Knock knock

Who is there?

Motor

Motor who?

Jesus, just give me a chance to answer!

[Deb]

I've been trying to think of a joke that won't be disapproved.

You can buy your wife expensive perfume, a designer handbag or a surprise cruise but she'll always remember the year you bought her a mop.

This made me smile today because when I ordered my wheelchair cosytoes my hubby offered to buy them for me for Christmas. I think he was joking but if he wasn't I'll find a way to throw my wheelchair at him.

Heather , the ocean didn't say anything... just waved.

Great idea for a thread Matthew x

[GaryM]

Knock knock

Who is there?

Motor

Motor who?

Jesus, just give me a chance to answer!

That's brilliant, Dennis. That's going to be my standard joke when meeting friends.

[Bowler]

A Chicken see’s a duck at the Kerbside
And said don’t do it
You’ll never hear the end of it

[matthew55]

I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.