Smile

[matthew55]

I humbly apologize I meant no disrespect to ham or bar staff. 😉

[matthew55]

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, She looked surprised. 😉

[Bowler]

Ellie I certainly meant no offence but I do find it very confusing in today’s world. Probably best I bow out of this thread.

[matthew55]

No no no you mustn't leave. Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice? Because it said concentrate 😂

[Ellie]

Bowler Absolutely no need to stop posting jokes. If I make you just stop and think before posting a joke or telling one down the pub, that's an achievement in itself.

I would appreciate it if you deleted the offending post though - if you're unsure how to, click edit, then delete.

Love Ellie.

[denise]

I'm blonde Matthew. I could take offence 🤔

[matthew55]

Take the gate while you're at it 😂x

[Bowler]

I’m truly sorry if my attempt at humour offended anyone. The post is now deleted.

by the way I don’t go to the pub anymore because the last time I went in fancy dress as a ham sandwich 😉

[denise]

I wasn't upset by it. You could tell it again but you'd have to take out where they came from. Would you have to take out that they were male? Not a lot of the joke left I suppose. 🤔I hope my tape worm was ok. No idea what sex or place of origin. 😊

[denise]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPDkCOJO3pc&t=87s&ab_channel=TheUlsterFry

[Bowler]

Went into waitrose said to the assistant can I pay by card
yes she said what card is it
6 spades I said

[matthew55]

Why are green beans the most Zen of all vegetables? Because they've found their inner peas. 😆x

[Bowler]

A Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his mobile

The wife said "Where are you, you know we have lots to do." He said "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up …

"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the model shop next door to that."

[denise]

That sounds like something my husband would say 😕

[matthew55]

What is Dominic Cummings' favourite Christmas song? Driving home for Christmas. 😂x