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I rub my eye brows off when I'm stressed. Funny thing is if I pick up the black pencil by mistake I can never get it to come off. π§
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I told my wife that she had drew her eyebrows on way too highβ¦β¦.. she seemed very surprised
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Police were called to a bank robbery yesterday, and they immediately sealed all the exits.
Unfortunately, the robbers escaped through one of the entrances...
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The other night I went into the lounge and told my wife:
I'm going to the pub, put your coat on.
My wife overjoyed that I included her in my activity, asked me:
Does that meant that you're taking me with you darling?
I replied "no... I'm turning the heating off" π
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Why is it that an old person seems to die every time they put up a new park bench...
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That reminded me of Peter cook and Dudley Moore - behind the fridge. I saw that live brilliant.
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I went to see the Disney On Ice show.
It was just some old bloke in a freezer...
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Someone said that with my voice I should be singing on TV or the radio - at least folk would then have the option of switching it off...
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The inventor of predictive text died recently.
His funfair will be on Monkey.
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I know it's a long shot but does anyone know what a trebuchet is?
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Our wedding was very emotional
Even the cake was in tiers...
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