Depression feeling flat

[denise]

Usually after Christmas and new year, when everything is over, i feel down, depressed and fed up. This year we didn't even have the luxury of waiting for it to be over with the virus Christmas was finished before it got started. So my question is does talking about depression help or do you just wait for it to go? ☹

[matthew55]

To be honest I believe we have choice when it comes to mood. If I hadn't chosen I wouldn't be here writing this. 😁x

[Shaun]

Hello Denise, I think you have to do what works for you, there is no simple answer, but would suggest if you are asking the question then you want to talk about it, and would suggest professional help, it’s not just Christmas , but COVID , mnd, hospital, the neighbours dog barking, it all takes a bit out if you
we can help to cheer you up, but it won’t resolve it,

shaun

[denise]

I just cant shake this off. I feel like I have a miserable mask stuck to my face. 😕

[matthew55]

I have seen many so called professionals that seemed in need of more help than I did 😉x

[denise]

My brother spoke with a counsellor. He had problems but by the time this person got hold of him he had more. He was told his problems stemmed from being left alone as a child. My brother was in a state where he believed this rubbish. He blamed his family for his problems. So I have to say I'm biased when it comes to some help. ☹

[Bowler]

Denise. I found after about 3 years of caring I got in a bit of a state. I became withdrawn, angry and quite shouty at everyone. A chat with my GP convinced me to try antidepressants. After about 3 weeks people noticed a difference. I still get my moments.

[Shaun]

Hi, Denise, my wife also suffers from deep depression, my illness hasn’t helped, she tried counselling they also blamed it on childhood, so she now takes happy pills, and when she goes as winston Churchill put it ‘black dog’, I hide and let her run it through. Perhaps try the Samaritans , they are there just to listen, no judgment, it may be worth just getting the words out to someone you don’t know might help.
s.

[GaryM]

I've always believed talking always helps in any situation. Others may disagree.

[Deb]

Hi Denise,

So sorry you're feeling low and depressed. Its not surprising as you are on your own out there. You must feel so isolated.

As Gary says talking does help some people but I find if I am down I need to be quiet and wait for it to pass.

After we lost our daughter i had counselling because I was irrationally overprotective of our sons. It didn't really work for me ... maybe because I had to leave them to go to counselling so that stressed me out!!! I think its a case of finding a counsellor thats right for you but I don't think anyone could have helped me . I'm still overprotective and they are all grown up. To their credit they still humour me with daily phone calls.

Please keep posting on here when you need a friend to talk with,
Love and hugs,
Debbie x

[denise]

Oh thanks everyone so much. Damn Debbie you made me cry. I can't even put my finger on what is getting to me. Or there are so many things I'm over whelmed. I agree caring is getting to me. Especially when it's the same things. It's my fault the quilt isn't big enough. It's my fault the bed is cold but he won't have an electric blanket or hot water bottle. I have to drop everything to pull his trousers up and if I don't do it now he just stands right in front of me complaining. He followed me round and round the kitchen because I didn't want to keep stopping what I was doing to unwrapp horrible sticky sweets. He plays the same music every opportunity over and over until I've threatened to murder him. He doesn't understand lock down. He asks me the same questions everyday. It's like ground hog day. He doesn't ask he demands. He tells me he's going for a shower then he's not going, then he is. I'm informed when and why he's going to the loo.
I was so looking forward to Christmas and having family around and it was all taken away. I'm depressed at not being able to be depressed about Christmas being over!
I don't think I want pills in case I'm tempted to take the lot!
😔

[Shaun]

Denise , is there any form of respite you can get out there, just for a weekend, found this website

http://algarvehsc.com

there is a section on respite, even just a day to, to give you a chance to recharge your batteries
s

[Deb]

Oh Denise.. I know it must seem impossible but you really need a break and you need your family. You must feel so alone. I'm sorry I made you cry.

Thank you for reminding us to treat our carers kindly and to ensure they get a break too. I think coping with MND makes us forget this sometimes and covid restrictions make it doubly hard.

I sending you huge hugs . Keep posting !
Love Debbie x

[matthew55]

Leave him for a week and see how he likes it. A marriage is not ownership or slavery. 👍x

[denise]

Hi everyone I'm still here and I've let him live. I would love some respite but there's no one to look after him. He's convinced he could manage on his own. Ok if you can manage go make some coffee. I can't lift the water to pour it in the kettle. Ok I can do that. I can't get the lid off the coffee jar. 😕 ok so if I go away can you cope if you don't drink coffee? 😐
I'm stuck really. I have no choice I have to cope.
your kind words have helped. I certainly slept better last night. We had an offer of counselling but Stephen apparently is ok he said he doesn't need it. I said I would give it a go but I think its all fallen through and I don't know what will happen with health care due to brexit. I tried a counsellor once before but found I was saying things to please her and it felt a waste of time.
I think I'm just under the weather. I've tried talking to him. I've tried explaining but other than getting an apology he's back to his usual self. He suggested I put him in a home.
I'm sure I shall be ok. Just need to get rid of the stress. 😙