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    Fight or flight?

    I was thinking as I lie here in my bed.... how our responses are different to stress and how it's not always what we expect.

    I'm so easy going and placid. I hate confrontation. But a couple of times recently I have faced that fight or flight type feeling and been surprised to find I stand my ground and fight. It isn't by choice it's like a fierce instinct inside me.

    Yet my husband seems to default to flight. Our strand of hope disintegrated this morning and he begged me to stop fighting for help because he thinks it is so damaging to get our hopes up, chase and keep being let down. I would love to just hide and fade away. I would choose that. But I can't seem to do it even though I know it hurts him. I just keep hoping and fighting. I'm not even built for fighting!

    Strangely our stress response with food differs too. He eats when stressed, I starve myself.

    Anyone else noticed their stress response or fight or flight was not what they expected?
    Diagnosis confirmed Jan 2022 (age 46) after several years ignored/ misdiagnosed.

    Symptoms began in left foot 2017. Now mainly left side, speech and some loss on right side too.

    Unable to walk unaided (powerchair user), poor speech, left hand behaves like a drunk toddler but generally positive and determined.

    #2
    I eat when I'm stressed or bored. When I'm upset I don't enjoy food.

    I'm sort of easy going and it takes a lot to make me lose it. Just sometimes I think we have to fight if not for ourselves but for others. I do go through periods of thinking ive had enough and what's the point. Then I take to thinking why am I putting up with this get out there and kick arse.

    I don't think we should give up. I think we'd be bored just watching TV. Stephen would just put up with things and me calling him a wimp.

    My mum and my nan used to say stick up for yourself. So we should fight but try not to get upset. Make a plan go for it then perhaps regroup and try again.

    😘
    when i can think of something profound i will update this.

    Comment


      #3
      denise - I definitely eat when bored!! Been to my advantage since MND weight loss. I have no appetite or desire to eat, but I'm more often bored.... so then I eat.
      Diagnosis confirmed Jan 2022 (age 46) after several years ignored/ misdiagnosed.

      Symptoms began in left foot 2017. Now mainly left side, speech and some loss on right side too.

      Unable to walk unaided (powerchair user), poor speech, left hand behaves like a drunk toddler but generally positive and determined.

      Comment


        #4
        TinyLady I've given up a few times, cried, took anti anxiety meds then thought its so not right. I then re group and go back at the fight mode. I've upset a few departments in my care but eh ho if there wasn't a problem, I wouldn't complain.

        Your husband is maybe trying to ensure your mental health but I think you know for the both of you, that you need to fight xx
        Diagnosed May 2021 bulbar onset als.

        Comment


          #5
          Yes, I'm a always a fighter. I'm really, really resilient. I hate how optimistic I am though, need to set expectations wayyyyyy lower.
          Glad you are still rolling your sleeves up though shelly21 and fighting.

          But I was thinking of those rare moments when it's REALLY fight or flight. When there is true danger and an instinct kicks in. I've been known to become really rather scary 🤣

          Are you a stress eater or a stress starver shelly21?
          Diagnosis confirmed Jan 2022 (age 46) after several years ignored/ misdiagnosed.

          Symptoms began in left foot 2017. Now mainly left side, speech and some loss on right side too.

          Unable to walk unaided (powerchair user), poor speech, left hand behaves like a drunk toddler but generally positive and determined.

          Comment


            #6
            I am most definitely a flight person! Take off and run for the hills at the slightest confrontation I don't know how its connected if at all but my startle response has gone hyper since mnd! Does anyone else have this change? I am so jumpy now even a car coming around a bend makes me jump sometimes which is ridiculous. X

            Comment


              #7
              Zante - yes, my startle reflex has gone into overdrive too! It can be quite embarrassing at times 🤣
              Diagnosis confirmed Jan 2022 (age 46) after several years ignored/ misdiagnosed.

              Symptoms began in left foot 2017. Now mainly left side, speech and some loss on right side too.

              Unable to walk unaided (powerchair user), poor speech, left hand behaves like a drunk toddler but generally positive and determined.

              Comment


                #8
                TinyLady yeah it is embarrassing! Turning the corner in supermarket same time someone else came from opposite direction and I jumped terribly and he must thought i was exaggerating! X

                Comment


                  #9
                  That startle reflex is certainly enhanced in PLS. xx
                  ​Diagnosed 03/2007. Sporadic Definite ALS/MND Spinal (hand) Onset.
                  Eye gaze user - No functional limbs - No speech - Feeding tube - Overnight NIV.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I'm between the two.
                    I got divorced at 28 and being calm / pragmatic actually wound the other half up more if they were challenging / confrontational.
                    I had ahigh pressure job for years, so again the calmness helped, but off-shift the mind was racing even if the body was fatigued.
                    An autoimmune illness (research correlated) aggravated by stress as well as a concern a few times (testing) for Addison's Disease added an interesting perspective (15 years of work and lifestyle adjustments to minimise stress).
                    Occasionally a polite but firm "No..." seems to shock / disrupt folk who think you may be a soft touch.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Arcadian - I am terrible at confrontation or saying no. Definitely not a fighter in that way. Only in those extreme danger moments when I think I should probably run, but no, I stand my ground.
                      Diagnosis confirmed Jan 2022 (age 46) after several years ignored/ misdiagnosed.

                      Symptoms began in left foot 2017. Now mainly left side, speech and some loss on right side too.

                      Unable to walk unaided (powerchair user), poor speech, left hand behaves like a drunk toddler but generally positive and determined.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        We all need to say 'whatever'.
                        when i can think of something profound i will update this.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          denise - I have to do that a lot now when people speak for me and assume what I want or need to say. I used to get so wound up. Now I try to just not care. I think my character is retreating inside me a bit.
                          Diagnosis confirmed Jan 2022 (age 46) after several years ignored/ misdiagnosed.

                          Symptoms began in left foot 2017. Now mainly left side, speech and some loss on right side too.

                          Unable to walk unaided (powerchair user), poor speech, left hand behaves like a drunk toddler but generally positive and determined.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            After reading that newspaper report I'd say you definitely are a fighter. 🤗
                            when i can think of something profound i will update this.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Stephen isnt jumpy, infact quite calm but he is very aware of things. He watches people out the window or from the balcony. He knows who is doing what and if there's anything going on. Hes like neighbour hood watch. I thought hes just nosey but it could be some kind of self preservation thing. Saying that it's very difficult to get through to him how he needs to stay safe. 🙄
                              when i can think of something profound i will update this.

                              Comment

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