Emotional liability

[Hayls]

Since I’ve been diagnosed, it’s almost like my symptoms have accelerated, I’ve started all the medications that are hoped to slow the symptoms onset and increased my sertraline I’m hoping I see an improvement about my EL it’s incredibly frustrating :’( I’m getting married on the 1st October and I’m very worried that my laughing or crying will be over the top, is there anything that anyone can recommend that I can do, or take, to help me on the big day just incase the doc can’t even me out before hand, any suggestions welcome, fingers crossed

[Gillette]

Hi Hayls

Congratulations on your forthcoming marriage.

I'm afraid I can't offer any suggestions about your emotional lability but I understand your anxiety about it. One thought occurs to me: your fiancé is marrying you in full knowledge of your MND diagnosis and presumably most, if not all, of your guests are aware of it. Perhaps you could ask the celebrant to mention something about the EL before the two of you exchange your vows. Although it won't stop the EL, it will remind everyone to bear it in mind if it makes an unwelcome appearance.

[Barry52]

Hi Hayls,

You mentioned medications and I assume you are taking antidepressants such as citalopram. I find it has helped me control the spontaneous laughter or crying. As Dina said, the guests awareness of your symptoms may alleviate the embarrassment should you not be able to control it.

Congratulations and best wishes for your special day.

Barry

[MNDConnect]

Hi Hayls

Congratulations on your wedding. I think Dina has a good suggestion about letting everyone know about the emotional lability. This then may help to take away some of your worries. Sometimes people with emotional lability can find that people try to comfort them and this can actually make the symptoms worse. If everyone knows that it may occur and just to ignore it then hopefully if it does happen, it will just pass.

There are various medications which the GP can prescribe which can help to lessen emotional lability but it tends to be a bit of trial and error of finding the right medication at the right dose.

For many people, emotional lability is a temporary symptom that reduces over time.

I do hope that you have a wonderful wedding and congratulations from all of us at MND Connect.

Best WIshes

Rachel
MND Connect Adviser

[Hayls]

Thank you Dina, Barry and Rachel for your support and advice, I’m sending out my wedding invitations this week, as I’ve not seen many people since my diagnosis and thinking how much I’ve changed I’m going to include hopefully a nicely worded note to explain some possible symptoms and hope I don’t totally loose it and end up either making everyone cry or end up hysterically laughing along with me lol, I’m meeting my MND specialist in a few weeks, eek, thank you everyone for my well wishes

[Ellie]

Hi Hayls,

I agree with what's been said above but just to add that it'll take a couple of weeks for the increased dose of Sertraline to take effect, so don't write it off yet.

Of couse it's easy for me to say this - I'm not getting married in 8 weeks - but stress does make EL worse so, if at all possible, let others take on the stresses associated with wedding planning...

What Rachel said is very true - episodes of EL will pass more quickly if people leave you alone, though on your Wedding Day, that's a tall order!

Also, Dina hit the nail on the head - EL is part of MND and, hard though it is for you, if you can't be yourself amongst your nearest and dearest, then that's unfortunate. HOWEVER, I totally get the embarrassment thing - I used to get embarrassed with even close family, but not now. (Again, easy for me to say, I don't have bad EL though and, if I do, I laugh a bit, I don't cry)

Lastly, of all days any person would be expected to be emotional, surely it's their wedding day??

Take care.

Love Ellie.

[Lynne K]

Congratulations Hayls. I see that you already have good advice. I do sometimes cry when I want to laugh and visa vera. It happened recently when my daughter was telling me something worrying. I was half laughing, and half crying. I apologosed mid way. My daughter laughed too and said that I don't have to apologise because she loves it. I think she was making light of it, made it into a joke. This is small compared to an up and coming wedding but I offer it as an example of the possible reaction of loved ones when they know what's going on.

I hope that increasing your Sertraline works.

Lynne

[Kayleigh]

Hi Hayls,

Its great to hear the very happy news of your wedding in October - many congratulations to you and your fiancé.

I am sure that if you are tearful on the day, all your guests will be very understanding -,and as weddings are such happy and emotional occasions, it wouldn't be surprising if some guests shed a few of tears of joy themselves!

I think Its such a good idea and very organised of you to let your guests know in advance about possible symptoms, such as EL.

I have told my family and close friends about my symptoms, so that they have an understanding of what I am experiencing and how they can be helpful. For example, if I am crying, they know that I like to be given some space rather than all of them crowding around me.

I hope you have fun organising your wedding.

Love Kayleigh x

P.S Just a little tip from a bride who couldn't hold back some happy tears at her wedding - I was very glad that the mascara I was wearing was waterproof!

[Hayls]

Thank you Ellie, Lynne and Kayleigh for being so supportive, I think I’m still learning to try and understand and cope with these challenges, thank you all for helping me realise that family and friends who care will understand, I’m sure they will, I’ll put on a brave face and hopefully it won’t be as bad as imagine, thank you for sharing your experiences, it helped me realise I’m not alone, big hugs to anyone else who deals daily with EL, I’m still laughing at myself, I’m trying to not take myself too seriously, lol

[Kayleigh]

Hi Hayls,

Please try not to worry. EL might not be on your guest list but if it does turn up on the day please don't panic because none of the guests will mind it being there and it won't stop the day being a wonderful and joyous occassion. Even if EL does make an appearance, it won't get in the way of you and your fiancé getting married and everyone will still have a great time at the ceremony and celebrations.

If there is laughter and/or happy tears (from the bride or anyone else) during the day it really dosn't matter and so just try to go with the flow of things and enjoy every moment of you and your fiancés special day. Plesse try not to worry - no-one is going to mind if the bride gets emotional - I promise!

Love
Kayleigh x

[miranda]

How wonderful that you have such a big milestone on the horizon. When my son got married I knew my EL would,probably be OTT but I worried about what to do with all those soggy tissues. My solution was to have a large extra handbag which was looked after by my sister in law and was nowhere to be seen in the wedding photos! Looking forward to hearing more about your plans for the big day.

[Terry]

Hi Hayls,

Great advice from others. Like Kayleigh, I get a few people in front of me a couple of feet away so that people can't see me directly. They give me plenty of tissues and reassure people that I am OK and will be OK in a few minutes.

If you can get away from people, great. Tell people not to be sympathetic or kind, sounds horrible but I find it sets me off.

I wonder if it's worth changing the drug to Barry's one, C. Have to ask your doctor because it might take a few weeks to do and for no gain.

Your idea about writing something on invitations is good. Explain that Mnd has affected your emotions and that you could laugh or cry uncontrollably, even howl. Please don't be upset or worry about it, it's just a part of me now. Some won't understand but most will. It might also be good to write, try not to be sympathetic or over kind.

Love Terry

[Hayls]

Miranda and Terry, awww thank you both for sharing your hints and tips, I think my Maid of Honour will have her hands full with my soggy tissues and my Mums lol My husband to be said that he’ll ensure he has extra hankies and our exit song after our ceremony, walking down the isle together will be Huey Lewis and the News, The Power of Love which I’m hoping that if I’m crying, this will get my laughing as well as everyone else when they hear the track and they’ll bust out laughing and me and my husband will be bopping down the isle lol

[Deb]

Hi Haylis,

Please try not to worry and enjoy every second of your wedding. It sounds like it is going to be absolutely fantastic and everyone is allowed to cry at a wedding, anyway ! I love the idea of you and your new husband bopping down the isle to Huey Lewis.

Love Debbie x

[Hayls]

Thank you Deb, my mum was horrified at first at the thought of that song for our walking out song but luckily she’s warmed to it
I had a surprise Hen Party last night and I ended up crying uncontrollably:’( and howling in the middle of Westbourne on a Saturday afternoon. All my friends and family followed my instructions perfectly, they made no fuss and I managed to calm down in under 10 minutes to go back in and hug everyone, thank you everyone for helping me realise that I have nothing to worry about