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  • nunhead_man
    replied
    I'm so sorry to hear this Chrissie

    It appears you're being abandoned at a time when you need to be calm and well supported.

    All I can do is send good wishes and say that I'm thinking of you both

    Leave a comment:


  • Deb
    replied
    So sorry and sad to read this Chrissie,

    I know, from your posts that Douglas wanted to come home and you are a wonderful and loving wife to enable this to happen.

    Sending you hugs and thinking about you both.
    Love Debbie x

    Leave a comment:


  • Doug Carpenter
    replied
    Oh Chrissie!

    It breaks my heart to read that.

    All I can do is send you both the biggest of hugs and much love.

    He is at least at home where I'm sure he wants to be.

    Thinking of you both.

    Doug

    Leave a comment:


  • chrissie57
    replied
    Thanks, everyone
    Douglas seems to be getting weaker by the day. It is really hard for him to communicate in any way now yet I believe his mind is as sharp as ever so apart from anything else he must be so frustrated

    Leave a comment:


  • Terry
    replied
    sorry to hear what you are both going through.

    hugs terry

    Leave a comment:


  • Ellie
    replied
    Oh that's some relief to know Doug is under palliative care, Chrissie.

    Yes, absolutely callous and heartless of so called carers to leave you hanging at this critical stage - shame on them.

    Love Ellie.

    Leave a comment:


  • Hayls
    replied
    How heartbreaking :,(

    Leave a comment:


  • chrissie57
    replied
    So glad Monday is over.

    Sorry, Ellie, should have made it clear that he is under the care of a palliative team. The Doctor concerned with that is visiting Doug tomorrow, as well as one of the District Nurse team. Some of the meds he might need were issued to him some time ago and they have sent him home with more and the equipment to administer them.

    The problem was that Doug seemed to take a turn for the worse so quickly and it worried me a little that, since I couldn't call an ambulance, I wasn't wholly sure who was the best person to contact.

    On top of this, out of the 4 visits he should have had from his carers, he had only one and that was at 1pm so he has gone from then without any personal care having been done. I rang at about 10pm to see what was happening and they assured me they were coming, when it got to midnight I realised they lied. I can't sleep now because of worrying about Doug (although he has rallied a little) and because I am so angry and upset wondering how the carers can be so callous.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ellie
    replied
    I’m so sorry Chrissie - you should not be left wondering like this. How frightening it must be for you not to be able to rouse Douglas.

    Was Douglas sent home without palliative back-up? Your hospice probably offers a ‘Hospice at Home’ service if the district nurses aren’t used to dealing with complex cases, such as ALS/MND.

    Originally posted by chrissie57 View Post
    ... try and ensure he is not in pain.
    There shouldn’t be any mention of try being pain-free, comfortable and not in anyway agitated should be a given… When are the district nurses due to visit? They may suggest using a syringe driver. It delivers meds just under the skin, which would keep Douglas very comfortable and in no pain.

    I truly hope you have support, Chrissie - someone to give you a big hug and say “you’re the best Douglas could wish for”, someone to make you a cup of tea and a hot meal.

    You’re in my thoughts.

    Love Ellie.

    Leave a comment:


  • chrissie57
    replied
    Doctor has been - said the main thing is to keep Doug comfortable and try and ensure he is not in pain. The district nurses will administer any drugs necessary to ensure any pain/discomfort is controlled

    Leave a comment:


  • miranda
    replied
    What a terrible dilemma for you. I don't know what to suggest but hope you are ok and soon get help"

    Leave a comment:


  • chrissie57
    replied
    Hello, sorry I went missing again but I ended up staying at the hospital with Doug.
    He was discharged on Friday on an end of life plan, as it turned out he had a lung infection again.
    He was put on subcutaneous hydration and had decided he would continue to risk feed for as long as he could. He has been very much weaker over the weekend but fully alert, even though he could not manage to eat much.
    This morning his carers did not turn up (in fact, they still haven't) and Doug seemed to get rather agitated. At the moment, he is in bed with his NIV mask on - he is breathing but I cannot get him to wake up, there seems to be no response at all to my trying to rouse him.
    No point phoning ambulance - his directive now says he is not to be readmitted to hospital for any reason and I don't think the paramedics could help. His doctor will call after his surgery but he didn't seem to think it is necessarily the end, he just wants to see Doug is comfortable.
    Should I be giving up hope or not? I feel completely helpless...

    Leave a comment:


  • Ellie
    replied
    Oh good.

    Yes Chrissie, he is one strong man!

    Leave a comment:


  • chrissie57
    replied
    Hi, Ellie
    Yes they will x ray him. Although he is on the medical ward the vent team are involved so he is in good hands really. Despite everything Doug has a strong constitution. He came back in September when they had more or less written him off - he wiĺl not go down without a fight. Hope this doesn't sound too unrealistic.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ellie
    replied
    Has he had a chest X-ray? Is he still not eating & having meds?

    If he's back in the Wythenshawe, at least they know NOT to give him oxygen, just to use his NIV (if that's what Doug wants)

    Best wishes.

    Love Ellie.

    Leave a comment:

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