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    #16
    Denise, your hubby needs to create a safe strategy for himself in my humble opinion. I’ve dealt with stroppy teenagers and what they rebel about is usually rules. They want to be self determinant. I agree with Gary. He’s old enough to make his own mistakes. Hopefully he’ll come to a more sensible strategy all by himself. It’s the same for alcoholics. Tell me how I know. I was (in my first marriage) married for 30 years. The last 10 were extremely difficult because of his alcoholism. But in the 12 step program for the drinker and their families (I attended a family group, he wouldn’t attend any) it’s taught that adults make their own decisions and if we intervene then we’re assisting them in their harmful behaviour. Ok it’s not exactly the same. You are his carer, but ought’nt care be a negotiation between 2 adults and not a battle? The latter would definitely risk making for difficulties in a marriage.

    Does your husband have a walker that he can sit on. Some are very sturdy. I’ll look at mine and come back later with the name. This could be a temporary solution if he’ll agree. Maybe speak with his OT and hopefully she/he will have a helpful negotiation with your stubborn husband.

    A word about stubbornness. It’s what keeps me and I’m sure others going. I keep my independence up until I can no longer manage something or other. Then I ask my husband for assistance. I would resist him giving me orders or ultimatums. It would infuriate me. I hope that your suggestion about locking your husband in was a joke. That’d be like a red rag to a bull with me.

    I hope that my message doesn’t offend you. I try to be open, honest and non offensive. But I’m human and can put my foot in it now and again.

    Good luck, Lynne x
    ALS diagnosed November 2017, limb onset. For the 4 yrs previously I was losing my ballance.
    I'm staying positive and taking each day as it comes.

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      #17
      You might be right Gary. I'm going to make myself ill worrying about him. He's black and blue as long as no one thinks it's me bashing him. ☹🔫☺

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        #18
        Lynne I won't take it the wrong way. You're right it has to be his choice as well. I'm not going to lock him in. Considered locking him out ☺.
        I've talked to him. Pointed out the hazards. I can't do anymore than that.
        I think he's rebelling against his illness and wants to be doing what he classes as normal. I shall be seeing his doctor next month so I shall ask him to have a word.
        meanwhile anyone got a cattleprod? 😁

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          #19
          Denise, my best walker with a comfy mesh seat is a Topro. I can’t see the type of Topro as it’s closed up at the moment. Therefore several versions with various prices. My Physiotherapist did a search after I’d asked her that get me one, and she got the Council to pay for it. My OT and Physiotherapist are on team meetings with my Speech Therapist etc so that could have asked either one and they’d have passed on my request. Lynne
          ALS diagnosed November 2017, limb onset. For the 4 yrs previously I was losing my ballance.
          I'm staying positive and taking each day as it comes.

          Comment


            #20
            Originally posted by denise View Post
            You might be right Gary. I'm going to make myself ill worrying about him. He's black and blue as long as no one thinks it's me bashing him. ☹🔫☺
            The evidence for your defence is in these posts, Denise.
            Each day is made easier with a bit of humour.

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              #21
              [QUOTE=Lynne K;n37276]Denise, my best walker with a comfy mesh seat is a Topro.

              It may be the topro troja which I have had for several years and it is my best friend.

              I’m going to do this even if it kills me!

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                #22
                Yesterday he fell over coming out of the bathroom. I'd told him to wait on the bench while I fetched some clean clothes. Another nasty smash to the face.
                this morning he was up at 3am. 4 trips outside for a fag and then he admitted he had fallen in the bathroom. He didn't have to go downstairs to the bathroom there's a porta potty.
                give me strength. Not sure what I'd do with it but I hear it's handy to have! 😟

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                  #23
                  Maybe he should smoke indoors?😉x

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                    #24
                    You mean like set fire to him! 😄
                    I have asthma. It's bad enough woodsmoke. I don't think I could cope with fag smoke as well. My medication hasn't been updated since we left UK.
                    he just loves the balcony. 3am it must be absolutely freezing. I know he's up and about because he bangs every blasted door. 😐

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                      #25
                      Hi Denise I was very similar had no fear was drinking and smoking until I fell and hit the fridge radiator and cupboard on way down with my head. Was knocked out for ages I was told. Had a head ache for a month after. Once I felt that head ache I stopped it. I’ve quit smoking and drink in moderation to try and cut the falls out. It could of been a lot worse but if it didn’t happen I’d still have no fear and be the 38 year old [email protected]£s head I originally was. Something needed to happen to me for me to change my ways. A simple thing like going for a fag mnd can take it away it’s shocking. Hope you find a solution soon Denise and all the best 😘😘

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                        #26
                        In defence of smoking I will continue until I can't. With limited time all bets are off. 😃x

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                          #27
                          Hi house44
                          I can't remember your real name sorry.
                          I've come to the conclusion that the only way he's going to be more careful is if he makes his own decision to be more sensible. Thankfully hes only smoking and not drinking. After 3 falls in one week then if he doesn't get it then ... actually I don't know what i can do but im not making myself ill worrying about him. I've tried that, shouting and swearing and he agrees with me and does it again. He can smoke, im fine with that i just dont see why he should risk life and limb.
                          the state of his face he looks like he's been in the boxing ring. His hand, elbow and knee are all cut. Surely he must see reason even if it's just facing him in the mirror!
                          🤔

                          Comment


                            #28
                            [QUOTE=Barry52;n37287]
                            Originally posted by Lynne K View Post
                            Denise, my best walker with a comfy mesh seat is a Topro.

                            It may be the topro troja which I have had for several years and it is my best friend.
                            Yes Barry, that sounds like it. It’s my favourite but takes so much space in our little flat that I seldom use it indoors. I would but Steve objects. I feel much more secure with it when I’m walking and it’d be easier to sit on it in from of the sink to do my teeth. I’m using a light weight four wheeled walker in our flat that gets around easier. Lynne
                            ALS diagnosed November 2017, limb onset. For the 4 yrs previously I was losing my ballance.
                            I'm staying positive and taking each day as it comes.

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Originally posted by denise View Post
                              Hi house44
                              I can't remember your real name sorry.
                              I've come to the conclusion that the only way he's going to be more careful is if he makes his own decision to be more sensible. Thankfully hes only smoking and not drinking. After 3 falls in one week then if he doesn't get it then ... actually I don't know what i can do but im not making myself ill worrying about him. I've tried that, shouting and swearing and he agrees with me and does it again. He can smoke, im fine with that i just dont see why he should risk life and limb.
                              the state of his face he looks like he's been in the boxing ring. His hand, elbow and knee are all cut. Surely he must see reason even if it's just facing him in the mirror!
                              🤔
                              Hi it’s Wayne my name. I hope u find a solution soon I was sick of the cuts and bruises

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Hi Wayne.
                                he needs something so he will bounce back up. 😄
                                he wants me to give him a shave but his face is such a mess I'd worry about adding to it! 🤔

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