Denise, your hubby needs to create a safe strategy for himself in my humble opinion. I’ve dealt with stroppy teenagers and what they rebel about is usually rules. They want to be self determinant. I agree with Gary. He’s old enough to make his own mistakes. Hopefully he’ll come to a more sensible strategy all by himself. It’s the same for alcoholics. Tell me how I know. I was (in my first marriage) married for 30 years. The last 10 were extremely difficult because of his alcoholism. But in the 12 step program for the drinker and their families (I attended a family group, he wouldn’t attend any) it’s taught that adults make their own decisions and if we intervene then we’re assisting them in their harmful behaviour. Ok it’s not exactly the same. You are his carer, but ought’nt care be a negotiation between 2 adults and not a battle? The latter would definitely risk making for difficulties in a marriage.
Does your husband have a walker that he can sit on. Some are very sturdy. I’ll look at mine and come back later with the name. This could be a temporary solution if he’ll agree. Maybe speak with his OT and hopefully she/he will have a helpful negotiation with your stubborn husband.
A word about stubbornness. It’s what keeps me and I’m sure others going. I keep my independence up until I can no longer manage something or other. Then I ask my husband for assistance. I would resist him giving me orders or ultimatums. It would infuriate me. I hope that your suggestion about locking your husband in was a joke. That’d be like a red rag to a bull with me.
I hope that my message doesn’t offend you. I try to be open, honest and non offensive. But I’m human and can put my foot in it now and again.
Good luck, Lynne x
Does your husband have a walker that he can sit on. Some are very sturdy. I’ll look at mine and come back later with the name. This could be a temporary solution if he’ll agree. Maybe speak with his OT and hopefully she/he will have a helpful negotiation with your stubborn husband.
A word about stubbornness. It’s what keeps me and I’m sure others going. I keep my independence up until I can no longer manage something or other. Then I ask my husband for assistance. I would resist him giving me orders or ultimatums. It would infuriate me. I hope that your suggestion about locking your husband in was a joke. That’d be like a red rag to a bull with me.
I hope that my message doesn’t offend you. I try to be open, honest and non offensive. But I’m human and can put my foot in it now and again.
Good luck, Lynne x
Comment