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It's often on the drive home..

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    It's often on the drive home..

    So often I find I just don't want to go back home. I'll be out shopping, or running errands or whatever. Tonight, I was at a small social gathering for work. I've just moved to a new team, and it was a chance to meet everyone in person instead of a video chat. It was a lovely time, and we laughed a lot.

    But then, I had to drive home. I don't mind my home. Have been here about 2 years now, and I've made it my own. But it's empty. There is no Ezri here. No one to come home too. And worse, I no longer have my best friend, the person I'd confide in on social matters, or things at work or life in general. No one to bounce ideas off of or whose advice I can seek.

    I hate coming home. But, I also have no where else to go. No friends that live nearby, no family close at hand.

    I had a cat, but then figured out I was allergic to cats, which explained my 20+ migraines a month. Thinking of getting a dog, but I don't have a garden (yard), and I'm not sure I'm ready for a dog yet.

    Life will get better when the restrictions in the UK are lifted a bit more. Can't do Kung Fu at the moment, which was a big part of my social life. Getting back into Archery, and making new friends.

    It's such a long and slow process.

    Anyway, thanks for listening.

    xx Pen
    Hanging in there, one day at a time.

    I’m sorry that your feeling low Pen. This pandemic lockdown is testing everybody and even harder for those like yourself who are still, understandably grieving. I hope that things open up for you soon.

    About getting a dog. A lovely idea as they tend to be loving, forgiving and eventually feel like family. But they need walking at least twice per day and some destroy your home if left alone whilst their owner is at work. Also, puppies cannot be left on their own at all.

    How about a hairless cat? They look ugly but would be much the same personality wise.

    Love Lynne x
    ALS diagnosed November 2017, limb onset. For the 4 yrs previously I was losing my ballance.
    I'm staying positive and taking each day as it comes.


      Hi Lynne,

      Generally, the grief isn't a big problem. But, sometimes, occasionally it is there. Like last night.

      I've thought about hairless cats. A friend of mine has a couple, and I think they are adorable. But, not sure yet if I'm allergic to the hair or the saliva. Something on my list to figure out.

      I've dogs in the household before, and know what I'd be getting myself into. But, it was Ezri's dog. This time I'd be able to pick the bread best suited to my lifestyle. But yeah, still requires walking, and as I don't have a garden, would have to walk it every time it needs the loo. Thankfully, I'm working from home for several more months, but eventually it might be an issue. I'm keeping all of that in mind.

      Actually thinking about a bearded dragon. I've had lizards before, and they are quite cool. Beardy's tend to be quite friendly and like human interaction. But, can't really curl up on the sofa or in bed with one, not like a dog.
      Hanging in there, one day at a time.


        Hi Pen

        Hope you don't mind,

        my husband has been diagnosed 4 weeks. At 56 and I am 46, no children and no pets

        I already miss our shopping together, all the coupley stuff, him getting stuff from the top shelf. I took over the shopping due to the Lockdown.

        We thought it was reumatoid in March

        I feel the grieving has started but keeping a cheerful front.

        The thought of sitting alone on the couch, makes me tearful (I am in the other room)

        From other grief experience it was a long while before you thinking I will have to tell X this, went away over time and I did not live with them.

        My heart goes out to you, wish I could give you a hug



          Mick was 58 on diagnosis, 59 when he died. It seems a lot of men mid to late 50s are diagnosed. Thinking of you all x