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    Over 2 years on

    It's been over two years since my father passed (Terry aka Top Cat on here) and I still struggle with it every day. I have so many regrets and still cannot process it. Does it ever get any easier?
    Luke

    #2
    Hi Luke, just as everyone’s MND is different then no two persons grief is the same. I lost my wife 20 months ago and there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t wish she was here or that it had been me. The biggest release for me is that from the very first week after Ann passed every Saturday night I lay on the floor looking at a photo of her smiling face sat on a bar swing in Jamaica and chat through the previous weeks goings on within the family.

    Who doesn’t have regrets about things we wished we had or hadn’t said, did or didn’t do but it has helped to chat these through on our Saturday date nights.

    Will it ever get any easier tbh I don’t know but I do know I owe it to Ann to get up every morning and do stuff.

    There is an often used phrase on this forum “ you are not alone, we are here for each other” so if you feel the need please do lean on us

    Take care of yourself Luke.

    Comment


      #3
      Bowler I love the Saturday date nights idea. I keep telling my husband he must keep going when im gone.

      LukeR I'm fortunate not to have lost a close loved one so I cannot give advise. I dare say its like waves. It comes and goes. Maybe Bowler idea is a trier! Pick a time and make that dad time. Talk to him and each time add something funny. Talk in the here and now. Tell him whats been going on.
      big hugs to both of you x
      Diagnosed May 2021 bulbar onset als.

      Comment


        #4
        Hi LukeR I was widowed 16 years ago. Grief does get easier but it is hard. There is not a single day when I don’t think about my husband but my life now is very different (not just due to mnd) and I am happy, at least I was until diagnosed.

        Grief is an individual thing and you cannot rush it. I tried not to focus on regrets or ‘what ifs’ as there was nothing I could do to change them.

        Take care x



        Bulbar onset diagnosed Nov 21. No speech but limbs ok so far.

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          #5
          Hi LukeR. Although it's lovely to hear from you I'm so sorry you are struggling with the loss of your dad. He was such a funny, lovely man and im sure you miss him so much.

          I dont think we ever get over losing someone we love... on a good day we learn to live with it. I still talk to my daughter ,who we lost when she was five ,every day.

          There will always be regrets about things said and done when we lose someone but i really insist my family and friends don't treat me differently because I have MND.. I really don't want them to watch what they say or visit when they are busy with their lives. Im sure your Dad would feel the same and not want you to have regrets.

          Take care of yourself,
          Love Debbie x

          Comment


            #6
            LukeR - I never met your dad on here sadly, he sounds like he was a real character. I worry for my husband when I am gone. I like Bowler's idea of a weekly catch up very much though.

            Sending hugs x
            Diagnosis confirmed Jan 2022 (age 46) after several years ignored/ misdiagnosed.

            Symptoms began in left foot 2017. Now mainly left side, speech and some loss on right side too.

            Unable to walk unaided (powerchair user), poor speech, left hand behaves like a drunk toddler but generally positive and determined.

            Comment


              #7
              I didn't know your dad, Luke but I feel sure he wouldn't want you to be unhappy and nurse regrets. It's tough....very tough... when you lose a parent but just think what your dad would want for you and your life. Make it a life he would be proud of.

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