Using friends

[matthew55]

As I get weaker and I live alone with family too far away I find myself relying on the help of my only friend. I feel really guilty for asking so much and I'm worried he will get fed up with me. The trouble is I really don't want strangers coming in to help me. Am I being stupid?

[Suefromwakey]

Matthew to me you are not being stupid, thinking ahead when I might have to have home help for my husband.........its not only the thought of strangers as I guess you don't get the same person every time its the fact that the home wont be home anymore............people just coming in and out I think I would also have privacy issues with it never mind my husband,

Have you have the conversation with your pal? ask him to be open and honest and see what he says - true friend will be with you always

Sue

[matthew55]

Thanks Sue I do ask him but I wonder sometimes if he really means it or is just saying what he thinks he should say. I guess I worry too much. x

[denise]

You are very lucky to have a friend. I'm sure if he didn't want to help he would give excuses.

I don't have anyone here. Friends I thought were friends vanished. I only have is forum.

[Deb]

A real friend will be really glad to help and your mate sounds the real thing Matthew. Before lockdown I had a few friends that would regularly call... even on days I was struggling and didn't really want company. I know I can rely on them and they used to give Stuart a break..

I totally get it when you say you don't want strangers in if you can avoid it although I know people do get used to carers. it must feel like your home isn't your own.

Love Debbie x

[Mary C]

Hi Matthew ,it must be hard with not a lot of support.Some people qualify from social services for a personal Budget from Social services to employ their own personal assistant to provide some continuity of personal care.
It depends how much help you need or think you will soon need as for example one person /formal carer can’t usually provide 7 days a week care as need a break.
It also depends on if you need help with personal care or other things such as cleaning,meal provision.
I guess lots to consider like has your friend got other commitments,Would your friend want to do personal care,Is it better to keep your friend for social support ?
I understand people don’t want strangers to come in to do personal care....but it could be try a balance of whatever your friend is willing and able to sustain plus maybe a carer as well.
Care from Social services is means tested and I believe if people’s savings are over £23;250 they have to pay the full cost for their care.It’s not cheap to use care agencies if deemed self funded.Guess you have sorted out benefit entitlement already.
Best wishes..Mary

[matthew55]

At the moment it's not too personal care just bins and stuff. I might get to the next stage, who knows? Thanks for all the comments you lovely people 😍😁👍x

[Jacquij]

Hi Matthew, my council provides a service for my bins to be collected from inside the boundary of my home, maybe your local council does the same.

[matthew55]

IMG_20210305_141149.jpg I can easily open the new gates so I'm okay taking them myself for a bit longer. 😁😍👍x