Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Meltdown

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Sheila
    replied
    Hi Dina
    I hope you are ok I have been having lots of meltdowns lately. I can't hold back the tears sometimes. My husband keeps saying take one day at a time. But it is difficult.
    Sheila x

    Leave a comment:


  • Deb
    replied
    Hi Dina,

    So sorry you've had such an awful experience with your carer... It must have been difficult to stay calm as someone not telling the truth is so infuriating.

    I know getting upset and stressed is bad for us but we are only human and we are bound to have a meltdown sometimes. No one can be expected to stay cheerful and positive all the time and maybe bottling our feelings up is not good for us either.

    For me, it is sometimes a small realisation or thought that sets me off but I think its probably really due go an accumulation of things andI usually feel a little more upbeat next day.

    Take Care and sending you big hugs , Hope tomorrow is a better day.
    Love Debbie x

    Leave a comment:


  • Gillette
    replied
    Thank you, Kayleigh, that's a kind thing to say about me.

    Most of my carers are lovely: attentive and kind - not at all like the Poisoned Dwarf!

    I don't mind getting upset, but I do mind that it seems to trigger quite a worsening of my MND, which is doing that well enough without any help!

    Leave a comment:


  • Gillette
    replied
    Originally posted by Ellie View Post
    When I saw you posted at 04.24 I thought Crikey, I know it's bright outside, but why is Dina awake enough to post??

    You're clearly an intelligent person and I don't want to appear patronising, but good quality sleep is a great medicine in helping us cope both mentally and physically with our MND, so I hope you're managing to get a decent stretch of sleep most nights.

    Take care.

    Love Ellie.
    Hi Ellie,

    I forgot about the time when I posted! I had woken with awful foot pain and it took a while for my partner to be able to get downstairs. Consequently, I was wide awake so I had a drink and something to eat whilst on my tablet. Don't worry, I do get plenty of sleep at night. I often have a treat in the morning: my partner helps me turn onto my side and I fall asleep. Bliss!

    Leave a comment:


  • Kayleigh
    replied
    Hi Dina

    Getting upset might not be good for us in some ways, but I think that it's totally understandable with everything we have to cope with. I think we have to be kind to ourselves and allow ourselves to get upset sometimes, if we need to - as I don't think that bottling things up is good for us either.

    Good for you, for sticking up for yourself concerning carer X! Personally, I have zero tolerance for liars!
    ..... and if that carer wants to move other people's furniture around, I think she should change career and get a job at Pickfords! Lol

    It's good that carerX is banned from your home - I hope your other carers are always kind and caring and that they treat you with the utmost respect. No-one should have to put up with carers who are uncaring and can't be trusted.

    I think you are a very kind and caring lady - and a hero for being involved in medical research!

    Sending you lots of love and hugs.

    Kayleigh xx

    Leave a comment:


  • Ellie
    replied
    You're better off without carer X, Dina - it's so important to have complete trust in each and everyone of your carers. (I've done the same with 2 carers over the years for lying)

    That undercurrent of stress does cause us physical issues and eventually it can't be contained, so it eventually comes out as tears of frustration, anger, life-loathing or self-loathing and often when least expected

    When I saw you posted at 04.24 I thought Crikey, I know it's bright outside, but why is Dina awake enough to post??

    You're clearly an intelligent person and I don't want to appear patronising, but good quality sleep is a great medicine in helping us cope both mentally and physically with our MND, so I hope you're managing to get a decent stretch of sleep most nights.

    Take care.

    Love Ellie.

    Leave a comment:


  • Terry
    replied
    Hi Dina;

    Showing your emotions to a professional caring specialist doesn't do so much harm as they might help you release some frustrations.

    Life an't fair, is it?

    Do the best you can.

    Love Terry

    Leave a comment:


  • Gillette
    replied
    This post follows on from Terry's post about not getting upset as it doesn't do us any good.

    When I began this thread I talked about one of the carers (who I called "X"). I have discovered that, following the visit that day, X contacted the care company's office, claiming that I would not allow her to move my bed, which is completely untrue. During the visit, she asked me if my usual carers move the bed, to which I replied that they don't but if she wanted to move it that was fine. When I heard about the lie she had told about me, I was livid and told the agency that I would not allow her into my home again.

    Last week, I had an appointment with my consultant at the MND clinic at Salford Royal. During the appointment I became upset and was struggling to hold back the tears. The doctor was mildly shocked as he had never seen me upset before - even though I have seen him quite a few times and spent quite a bit of time with him, since then. In fact, he has commented on my positive attitude throughout the period since my diagnosis in November 2018.

    After each of the three times when I have been so upset, my MND has deteriorated markedly, so I wholeheartedly agree with Terry's comment about how getting upset doesn't do us any good. I am trying to keep on an even keel because of the way the MND bites back, but it can be very difficult.

    This d*mned MND doesn't play fair, does it?

    Leave a comment:


  • Lynne K
    replied
    Thanks Dina and good luck for you and he to have some nice times soon. Lynne x

    Leave a comment:


  • Lynne K
    replied
    Well said Kayleigh, and thanks, Lynne x

    Leave a comment:


  • Gillette
    replied
    Originally posted by Kayleigh View Post
    Sorry to hear that things didn't go so well with your partner today, Dina. Sometimes, if they are in a bad mood, nothing anyone says is going to make them feel better about things.
    Love and hugs
    Kayleigh xx
    You're right, of course, Kayleigh. I just don't feel like dealing with his negativity at the moment.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kayleigh
    replied
    I'm glad you had a good day Lynne and that your husband listened to your side of things without getting argumentative.

    Sorry to hear that things didn't go so well with your partner today, Dina. Sometimes, if they are in a bad mood, nothing anyone says is going to make them feel better about things.

    I suppose it's a case of taking one day at a time and trying to make the best of things - while hopefully being kind to ourselves and each other!

    Love and hugs
    Kayleigh xx
    Last edited by Kayleigh; 7 May 2019, 00:16.

    Leave a comment:


  • Gillette
    replied
    Hi Lynne, I'm glad things have improved for you today and I hope tomorrow gets even better.

    My partner has had a bad day today, which has made him grumpy. He apologised over dinner but the grumps continued after we had eaten. He is feeling overwhelmed but rejects anything and everything I try to do to ease the burden.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lynne K
    replied
    Hi Kayleigh. Today got better as it went on. Some talking done and for a change he didn't kick off when I explained. No apology but quietly listened.

    When he goes out I make sure that my mobile is always either in my pocket or in my walker so if I fall I can contact him. He's only half an hour away sometimes 45 minutes sometimes and an hour and a half the furthest away. Thanks for your message. Lynne

    Leave a comment:


  • Kayleigh
    replied
    Hi Lynne,

    Sorry to hear that things have been particularly difficult for you at home.

    I agree with you, that it is good to have time apart every now and again. It sounds like you have tried to encourage your husband to socialise with his friends, so that you can have a break from each other sometimes - but perhaps he worries about leaving you at home by youself, in case you were to have a fall?

    There are personal alarms we can get and sometimes OTs can provide them - if you were to get one, then perhaps that would put your husband's mind at rest a bit about you being at home without him? (Just a thought, and you might already have one anyway.)

    I'm with you about needing some 'me time' every now and then - especially so that we can watch what we want on TV in peace! - after all, I don't think there are many husbands and wives who have the same taste in TV programmes!

    Hopefully you both had a lovely time when you were away on holiday recently. It could just be a case of him having the post-holiday blues for a short while (not that he should be taking things out on you!).

    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and that the situation improves very soon.

    Love and hugs,
    Kayleigh x
    Last edited by Kayleigh; 5 May 2019, 23:00.

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X