Live in carer?

[duncan146294]

I am being pushed into having a live in carer. Currently we have a carer who comes 5 days a week and we are expecting this to go to 6 1/2 as soon as they can find someone but they have live in carers available immediately. We are lucky that we have space to do this and retain some privacy but it seems a big step. Certainly I need more help as I don't sleep and am permanently fatigued from caring. I'd be interested to hear of any experiences people may have had of live in carers to help inform my decision making.

Many thanks

Duncan

[Piglet]

duncan146294 sorry I have no experience of this. Clearly you need more help if you are needing more than five days a week. If you can afford a live in carer and your happy with her/him then I would definitely give a try at least. You must think of your own needs as well. Good luck with your decision.xx

[Ellie]

Hi Duncan,

I’m sorry you're feeling “pushed” into getting a live in carer for your wife.

A good friend of mine has a live in carer for her father (who has Alzheimer’s) and it generally works out well. She would stress the importance of laying down clear ground rules from day 1, and sticking to them (!!) The carer lives in for 5 days and there are day carers 2 days, but my friend is needed as a 2^nd carer for some tasks, not many, and this division of labour is clearly spelled out.

It’s good that you have the space so you're not on top of each other.

I hope you find a good solution. xx

[duncan146294]

To avoid misunderstandings this is being suggested by CHC and the Care Agency, my belief is that we are being encouraged down this route as where we live there is a complete shortage of day carers but apparently the agency is able to supply live in carers much more readily and of course they will get more money for this.

I am struggling to get my head around how we could work with this, I certainly need more support and the ability to rest but I do not know if the strain of having a stranger in the house at all times will counter this. Hence I would be interested to hear of anyone who has had similar experiences.

[MMG]

I worried like thus about having PA's but within a relatively short time they did become like members of the family and trust grew. If you get someone good they will get to know when to make themselves scarce and give you privacy and also when you need support.

I actually miss them now. But I did have the same fears as you initially.

Good luck with it. If you try it and it doesn't work you can always revert back, but if you refuse it, it might be really difficult / impossible to get it later.

[duncan146294]

MMG - thanks - I have been thinking about it all weekend and discussed it with family and have decided that we should try it, I am shattered all the time and I cannot cope with things how they are. The CHC person & the care agency are coming to discuss our needs on Friday, now I have made the decision fingers crossed they will fund it. Thanks again your input has confirmed my thoughts.

Regards,
Duncan

[MMG]

Good luck with it, hope they can find someone suitable soon. xx

[Ellie]

I have been thinking about it all weekend and discussed it with family and have decided that we should try it

Certainly worth trying, Duncan - hope you land a gem. xx